V-Wars #2

This cover:

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I hate it. It looks like a cheesy direct to DVD horror flick. It took me forever to “see” that vamp in the corner left so it appeared to me at first that the woman in the center had her hand down lipring vampire’s pants. Who ok’d this?

A reporter is held hostage by vampires, they’re saying that she doesn’t care about the truth, that she just reads lines. He tells her that vampires aren’t getting due process, that they’re Americans too. He thinks that someone is diverting attention on purpose. He throws around stats proving that humans are more violent.He wants her to tell their side of the story. Yuki Nitobe has to decide whether or not to be their spokesperson. She’s released and calls Luthor (the man from issue 1 who was an expert on vamps, his family turned) . She confesses that she doesn’t like the ratings queen that she has become.

The next day Yuki meets with a vampire named Kyra who has been badly tortured by humans. This scenario happens all the time, “We are the new minority. People are afraid of us and they hate that they are afraid.” That would be reasonable except for that vampires are dangerous and bloodthirsty. Not Kyra, Kyra is a quaker and abstains from violence even as she is being beaten and raped. 

The go to The Red House: a church/cult for vampires to worship and form community.

The black vampire who looks mostly human uses the phrase “One that, like me, can pass” Holy fucking shite with this appropriated garbage. 

Yuki and Martyn go to stop a terrorist plot. Luthor is also there along with homeland security. But when they arrive, it’s not criminals or terrorists, just an abandoned dwelling full of squatters and vagrants, but homeland security open fire while Yuki and Martyn watch in horror. The news reports it as if Homeland busted a volatile terror cell, except for Yuki who asks viewers to question what evidence or weapons they had to show. It nearly costs her her job, but she has a solid contract and great lawyers. Kyra thanks her, but then they are attacked at the Red House. The whole plays explodes. “No one saw anything.” 

She and Luthor drink their problems away and then she goes back on air and proclaims that she is always on the side of truth and she will make sure that the responsible party -no matter who they are- is dragged into the light.

31 Horrifying Days- Day 16: Quarantine (2008)

I haven’t watched a zombie movie in a while and I’d never seen this one. Well, no one ever says the Z word. But it features humans affected by a rage-virus much in the same style as 28 Days Later and affected animals like in Resident Evil that fall ill and then try to eat your freaking face off, the afflicted are unhindered by pain, unable to speak and without reason. They are sensitive to light and hard to kill.

The modern interpretation of a zombie.

Jennifer Carpenter (“Dexter”, Exorcism of Emily Rose) stars as Angela Vidal, a television reporter working on a fluff piece about LA’s Bravest. She, along with cameraman Scott (played by Steve Harris, “Awake” and the voice of Clayface on “The Batman”) hang out with the firefighters at the station: shoot hoops, eat chilli, make small talk, then they head out on a call.

The call is medical and they arrive at an apartment building along with the police before the EMTs. When they get there they head upstairs and find an addled looking woman with blood around her collar and then the bodies start dropping. Sometimes literally. One of the firemen gets thrown down 3 floors straight onto the tile. They try to get outside, but the police (and later National Guard and CDC) have them locked in. Even with an injured officer and firefighter. Those inside search for alternate routes and are met with assault rifles and ordered to back away from windows. The police won’t tell them anything and soon they are without cell reception and electricity (this one’s weird. The elevator is on “auxiliary power” and a resident’s TV still works, but there’s no lights. Doesn’t add up except to add to the atmosphere). Angela tells Scott to keep rolling, that people won’t believe this. 

And he does. Of course, one of the things I dislike about mockumentary/found footage films is the implausibility of someone lugging a camera around with rage zombies actively trying to eat their face. He does bash one of the turned over the head with it. The lens gets bloodied. Slightly off camera Scott falls apart while cleaning the blood. Some of the camera angles don’t work. He’d be taping an infected chasing them right till they were face to face but then be first through the door to get the shot of everyone coming in. That’s a nitpick, though. At one point the camera is actually integral because conditions are pitch dark and it has night vision.

It is really good. And the characters work well, the first responders are freaked out but ready for a fight and regular people like Angela and Scott are not built for this. After seeing a firefighter get up walking on a broken leg and a little girl rip out her mom’s throat… she’s done. “I’m done. I’m not moving.” There’s a wealthier white man who wants to exercise his god-given right to die in his own apartment, a young Indian-American couple with nice clothes and a bathroom full of prescription sedatives and narcotics, a pair of North Africans who don’t speak English, the tough cop who is at first reluctant to go against orders (Columbus Short, “Scandal”), the hot firefighter who lives the longest (Jay Hernandez, Hostel, “Gang Related”) and a veterinarian (Greg Germann, “NCIS”) who diagnoses the infected with a mutated form of rabies.

The CDC arrives. The CDC also tells them that a blood test will confirm if they are infected. The veterinarian tells them that they’d need a brain sample. Everyone freaks the hell out. The CDC ends up getting eaten and no one gets their brain sampled. 

As numbers dwindle, the search for a way out leads to an unnecessary plot point. The virus was cultivated by some freakshow in rats first in the name of some cult. It didn’t add much to the plot. It didn’t need it. Dark apartment complex full of relatable people search for a way out while on the run from hyper-rabid former friends.

There are a few females in the film but no girl-power to speak of. I feel as though Angela’s flailing and inability to find a weapon suited her TV diva character… but I wish that there had been an Officer Deb Morgan somewhere.

4.25/5 (I fucking love zombies)

But it should be noted: this movie is based on the Spanish horror film [REC] from 2007, the main character’s name is even the same. I’ll definitely be watching the original.

Movie Review #14- World War Z

Family man gets called out of retirement to beat zombies over the head with a crowbar… and oh, yeah, save the damn world.

Former UN weapons inspector, Brad Pitt, real life vegan is playing i-Spy taking his kids to school comments: “Do people keep it in pens all it’s life and harvest it for meat?” when helicopters start flying overhead, traffic stops and police order everyone in their vehicles. 

Panicked but trying to calm his children (who are confused and just want their blankets and to hide in a corner), they steal an RV and his daughter starts having an asthma attack, his UN buddies call him in an offer an extraction for him and his family. Fighting off looters for albuterol and road flares proves to be worse than fighting off zombies.

Even roaring, croaking, convulsing, running zombies.

“Be ninja quiet, just a walk in the park”

Off the coast of NY on the USS Argus, Gerry meets up with his former UN cohorts, “Is this worldwide? Is anyone doing better than we are?” top politicians are dead, the biggest cities are the worst off, airline delivery system. Smart guys argue about how ridiculous it is that people are considering the infected “zombies”

Really? You saw this sort of thing:

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And think it’s NOT POSSIBLE THAT IT IS ZOMBIES

The government blackmails Gerry into working for them. Help us or you and your family are back to NJ. So he, a 23 year old Harvard virologist and a team of Navy SEALS jet set in search of evidence and a cure.

The doctor is amused and excited about the research ahead. He is considerably less amused when they get on the ground.

They go to where they think is the “source” an email from a colonel about zombies (that everyone thought was stupid and irrational). A CIA operative, imprisoned at this location, locked up for selling guns to North Korea, says they are surviving there because they pulled out the teeth of every citizen. He says Jerusalem saw it coming.

“The problem with most people is that they don’t believe something can happen til it already has.”

A Mossad leader decided to get on the right side of this thing for once and builds a wall. He thinks patient zero is in India. Turns out he should have built a dome.

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There’s a lot of Brad Pitt staring at the chaos in horror as quicker witted people pull him along. After all the running, Gerry does find a place to hide. And a way to hide.

After a particularly silly plan involving stacking luggage to keep out zombies…. BP causes a plane crash. This and the following scene were particularly nerve wracking. 

Gerry’s UN pals think he’s dead and ship out his family (in a perfect analogy of what the powers that be do with their soldiers when they have served their use). Segen and Gerry make it to the WHO facility where everyone finally gets a clue.

Anxiety inducing, interesting, and full of survival tips.

I have to complain a little, and I will, about Karrin. While competent and smart she was almost raped by looters (because, Under the Dome style, everyone goes batshit in the first ten minutes. Really? Zombies are eating everyone and life without food is in your future and you’re stopping to rape someone? effing sickos. Why did the plot need this? Oh wait, didn’t.) and then the simple act of missing her husband and calling him on the satellite phone gets a bunch of people killed. Really? That rubbed me wrong, it could have been anything that made noise and attracted zombies… but instead it was his wife because she missed him. Argh

Segen earns plenty of badass credits, she saves Gerry’s life, he saves hers, rinse and repeat. But in the end we never know much about her background or what she would want to become of herself. Just another human weapon action chick.

And I’ve said it before, the apocalypse is no place for children, unless you are going to raise them like Erin in You’re Next.

None the less… I give it a 3.75/5 above average, action packed, but nothing too surprising.