Newsday- Nintendo, Fred Williamson, Summer TV +more

Mario Kart 8, work and training for a 5k has eaten my blogging life. I didn’t pick up my comics yet this week, so I figured I’d tell you what’s on my mind.

Penny Dreadful, which I have been loving is renewed for season 2! After 4 episodes! FINALLY a show that I like doesn’t get axed with plotlines hanging around everywhere!

Fred Williamson, AKA “the Hammer” ex-football player and total badass has a new movie called The Last Hit Man. Written, directed and starring Williamson, with Franco Nero and Gary Busey. I got to meet Fred Williamson at TerrorCon over the weekend. I attended his Q&A where he said he turns down 4 or 5 movies every week (every WEEK) because the black characters are written as spoofs or goons or idiots who die in the first 5 minutes. Kudos to him for being uncompromising and making it work on his own terms, but shame on Hollywood for presenting the choice as “don’t work” or “degrade yourself”. It’s a damn shame. 

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He’s also in his 70s and will still kick your ass.

Under the Dome is back on June 30th, Stephen King himself  releases/reads the intro to snowball some hype. We have to wait until July 9th for Extant- Halle Berry fronts this scifi CBS show… about a woman impregnated by aliens after a trip to space. +3 for diversity, +1 for Spielberg, +2 for women in science… but impregnated by aliens? yeesh. Apocalypse/saviour baby plots are not my fave. Raped by aliens is not good. 

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TRUEBLOOD’s final season kicks off in a couple weeks. Rumor mill says there will be a same sex hook-up (“from non-gay characters”) in ep2. Honestly, I can’t imagine this will be handled in a mature fashion most of the gay characters have been bogged down with tropes on tropes. Every one is still hoping that Alexander Skarsgard is involved. Honestly, I think his little brother is cuter. Which is why I’m counting the days til July 11th when Bill Skarsgard returns as Roman on Netflix original series “Hemlock Grove”. 

Official season 2 trailer, anyone?

Absolutely no one anywhere can wait for the new open world Zelda. But we have to. 2015.

 

 

For those of us Fiercely missing Agents of SHIELD

14 long long days until a new episode, TAHITI , where Coulson finds out more about his past and presumably saves Skye. Bill Paxton guest stars on that one, as does BJ Britt (who has guest starred on Vampire Diaries, Grimm and Sons of Anarchy as well as the Wonder Woman TV movie and the flick Vampires Suck).

Of course, you probably don’t care as much about those guest stars as you do about the March 11th episode that features Lady Sif. Jaimie Alexander appears as the awesomely armor-clad Asgaardian in the (hopefully season and not series) finale “Yes Men”

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It’s these kind of nerd cookies and side characters and tie-ins to the Marvel Universe that have really been keeping fans entertained. An IGN blogger compiled a list of who they would like to see make a cameo to keep the hype going. I agree, either She-Hulk would be optimal -but Jennifer Walters is a small time character *snort* please. But it seems like everyone from Jezebel to Stan Lee himself has ideas on how to fix the show and keep viewers excited. Is Jaimie Alexander’s appearance getting you hyped? Anyone you’d like to see hit the SHIELD set?

The series debuted with record numbers, but since 6 million less have tuned in.

No news of being officially canceled or renewed yet. But as a belated Valentine’s Day gift: A look at Skye’s -I mean Chloe Wang’s -I mean, Chloe Bennet’s music career debut.

I’m optimistic about where they could go with SHIELD, who they could bring in and how they will use who they’ve got. The second half of the season has brought depth to Agent May’s no-nonsense persona, Skye’s backstory plotline has wrapped itself up and now we have established characters working through their quirks without relying heavily on being cliche archetypes -everyone’s stretching out of their established comfort zone. And that’s good.

Sleepy Hollow- Episode 7

We’re taken back to Boston for Paul Revere’s ride. The Hessian (with his head) shows up and starts decapitating those sending out the signal.

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Present day: Abbie explains bottled water. She’s hoarded some supplies in case they need to hunker down at the cabin if the Hessian comes back. Jenny’s out of the institution tonight, Morales tries to reconcile a friendship with Abbie. She agrees to go out for coffee with him the next day. Later on that night John Cho, shows up and confronts Luke Morales.

“Rumors of my demise have been… pretty much true.” 

He warns Abbie’s wanna be suitor to stay away from her. That there are forces in play he can’t begin to understand.

Ichabod attempts to meet up with the freemasons, hears signs of a struggle and finds them with their heads removed. The horseman is watching. The Chief arrives, CSIs in tow. Cult Ritual Suicide is the official story. Irving decides that there’s still no proof the horseman exists… umm… eye witness accounts? The missing heads everywhere?

Pages torn out a freemason’s book enrage Ichabod. No one’s gotten Ichabod proper clothes yet. Ichabod is taking this personally for the life he lost, the lives of his brothers, Abbie reminds us that her mentor, Corbin, was killed by the Horseman as well. Ichabod surmises that he attacked the freemasons in search for his skull. They decide that they must destroy the skull. Ichabod guilts Irving into helping them recover the skull, it’s been sent out to another lab. It’s also evidence.

Paul, they lab tech, is puzzled by the treatment the skull received.

“No signs of life. Yet… there it is.”

While looking for a box (for the skull), the Hessian arrives armed with an automatic weapon. Irving (played by the hilarious Orlando Jones) pulls off some matrix level stunts and tries to take out the Horseman. He narrowly escapes. Now a believer he confesses that he wanted it to be a lie. And still no one will believe them, the surveillance cameras cut out, destroying evidence of what happened at the lab.

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In the Freedom Tunnels IchAbbie try to smash, bash and explode the skull.

Paul Revere’s lanterns system (one if by land, two if by sea, you might have heard of it) 4 lanterns… what does that mean? 4 if by death? The lanterns are the heads of the freemasons, he lined the skulls with silver to reflect brighter and be seen further. Ichabod remembers seeing a heptagram, a devil’s trap, on a manuscript of enemy secrets back right before Paul Revere’s ride.

Abbie and Ichabod take to the history museum to find the manuscript. Ichabod takes over a children’s tour and sets straight the misconceptions that a commonly perpetuated about the Revolutionary War. Paul Revere discreetly informed others that the “regulars are coming” not the British, since they were all still British at the time (fact checked, real thing). Abbie excuses herself to call Morales and she is almost grabbed by Andy Brooks, she clocks him hard and dislocates his jaw. Andy sold his soul, but it’s the horseman who won’t let his service be over.

Ichabod accidentally discovers porn. “Paul Revere. You Rum Beggar.” In an connection that I don’t understand, he hid the password on the back of the teeth in the horseman’s skull and Ichabod finds it.

Andy gives Abbie tips on trapping Death rather than trying to destroy him.

“Is that the sheriff’s turncoat?”

Ichabod sends Andy with a message for the horseman, to meet at the cemetery at nightfall. Ichabod knows how to trap the horseman. In 1782 the masons included in the manuscript a way to trap the horseman. A witch must be summoned. Everyone immediately thinks of Katrina. But they don’t need witches, they have UV light (like in Thor 2 where a soul forge is a particle accelerator). Cicero is the password, btw, (which last episode was the code name of the traitor).

Ichabod and Abbie lament over their loneliness… but atleast they have each other.

But night is falling, so it’s time to lure the horseman to his death. They trick the horseman with fake skulls everywhere, Abbie lures him after her, faking helpless and Irving and Ichabod blast him with UV light. He’s successfully incapacitated.

This episode was great. The special effects were consistently awesome, from the scene with Orlando Jones where the Horseman is armed with an assault rifle, to the illuminated decapitated heads of the freemasons to the beyond awesome last scene. I like that Abbie and Ichabod are getting closer as friends… but on the negative: no Jenny OR John Noble this episode?! And why does Abbie hate tap water so much? Bottled water steals natural resources from impoverished areas, it’s shipped around wasting gas, causing pollution due to shipping and also the unnecessary plastic bottles. Plastic bottles can also introduce contaminates to the water inside as the plastics degrade.

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The Abbie/Morales situation is still up in the air and the previews for next week show more John Cho and Ichabod losing his cool while the Horseman is their prisoner. I’m glad Irving is on board now.

Under The Dome- Episode 12

Purple egg, doing purple stuff!

Big Jim is hunting down Dale Barbara. The whole town consents to house sweeps.

Dodee hears the military on the radio again. “Barbie is the only one inside with the necessary expertise”. Angie’s psyched about killing Big Jim (the dome said so) and Jim’s after Joe’s Monarch. When the butterfly hatches, the monarch will be crowned. Carolyn emerges! She sees the kids with the minidome egg. She doesn’t trust Big Jim and knows he will be searching houses so they decide to hide it at Ben’s HOORAY Ben’s okay!

Dodee tells Jim what she heard on the radio. Linda tries to convince everyone to keep Barbie alive.

Barbie sneaks up on Angie and he explains that it wasn’t really him, Angie instantly believes him. Barbie knows that Julia is in trouble if she wakes up and he asks Angie for help saving her. Angie gets to save someone!

Angie and Barbie go on a rescue mission. She smokes a cigarette and prepares to be a badass.

The military is looking for an egg. Dodee remembers seeing it now (at one point it zapped her and she had amnesia). Dodee goes to keep the radio on and Big Jim hears that the military saw him murder the rev… Dodee unfortunately walks in just in time to hear it (and see Jim destroy the equipment). Dodee is immediately suspicious that Big Jim really killed everyone that he blamed on Barbie.

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Dodee tries to convince him she can still be on his side. She can help get the dome down. Jim decides that the dome can’t come down and pulls a gun, Dodee says “You’re a sick bastard. And one day everyone’s going to know it. And they’re going to smile when you die.”

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She gets shot (oddly, seemingly the same place that Julia got shot; point blank range but everyone gets hit in the shoulder). Jim sets the radio station on fire.

Phil thinks Barbie is burning down the station.

Ben’s guarding the egg.

Angie is wearing her candy striper outfit, acting as if she is volunteering and tries to confront him about his dad lying. “Did Big Jim tell you what to do if she woke up?” she pulls out puppy dog eyes and says “I just need someone to talk to, you’re the only one who knows what I’m going through.” She tricks him into leaving Julia with an soulful “I need you.” SUCKER

“Mr. Rennie, let me tell you how much a lawyer knows about illegal searches.” Carolyn takes none of this crap when they come to search the barn, Big Jim and his vigilantes get violent (not kidding) and Norrie shows up to protect her mom.

Linda and Phil find Dodee dead, Phil is beside himself and obviously blames Barbie (knowing that barbie is violent- which is accurate, and believing Big Jim’s tall tales).

Angie kisses Junior to distract him and tastes cigarettes on her lips (am I supposed to think that  the rest of the town smoked all the cigarettes and the only person with any left is Barbie because he was hoarding them somewhere around episode 2) and figures out that she is duping him. Junior manages to call in that Barbie is at the clinic, Barbie sends Angie off with KO’d Julia and Linda shows up, slaps the cuffs on Dale Barbara and Phil hits him while he’s cuffed.

Norrie knows that they should have killed Big Jim when they had the chance. They know that Barbie is a goner. Big Jim tries to get Joe to tell him where the egg is. Says he’s “impeding a lawful investigation” which Norrie cracks up about then calls him a “loser trying to scare kids.” Jim goes into Norrie’s cell and threatens her, Norrie attacks him.

Linda’s on the walkies putting out an APB for Angie. Linda actually doesn’t think that Barbie hurt Julia, but calls him out for murdering her husband.

Ben gets mind freaked by the egg.

Norrie and Joe get lead by Barbie. Norrie and Joe tell Barbie not to tell Big Jim anything, that they will be okay. Big Jim starts saying all the terrible things that will happen to Angie, Norrie, Joe and Julia for siding with him. Barbie agrees to confess as long as everyone gets off scot free (but Big Jim is untrustworthy)

Big Jim send Junior out to find Angie and Julia. Junior asks “What’s so important about finding Julia?” since big Jim’s whole reasoning for wanting Julia kept an eye on was that Barbie was going to finish the job. Junior is starting to believe that Jim is a bad guy.

“The creepy sphere’s gone crazy man”

Julia wakes up. Angie tends to her. Julia remembers a woman she’d never seen before shooting her. Angie snuck around, doubled back and hid in a storage room at the clinic (the last place they would look) very cleverly and then tells Julia that Big Jim said Barbie shot her. Julia is horrified. Barbie is standing before Chester’s Mill as Big Jim recites “his crimes”.

The egg turns red.

Julia knows that they will kill Barbie. The butterfly comes out of the cocoon and Barbie decides to plead NOT GUILTY.

AHHHHH the drama!

Ben got his face of the milk carton and twitter explodes with hopes that he is the monarch!

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So much, what can happen? What will happen to the kids now that Barbie broke his promise? Will Chester’s Mill go mob mentality and stone Barbie to death?

Best episode in a while. All my faves came back from obscurity. Carolyn stood up to Big Jim and was a good mom, Norrie stood up to Big Jim and was a good daughter, Phil (played by Nicholas Strong: so much good acting!)  got some meaningful screen time as he looked for justice for Dodee…. poor Dodee. DAMMT!

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Angie got to do some cool action chick stuff and show off how smart she is. Norrie got to be a punkass who’s tired of being screwed over.

But I am so mad that Dodee gets shot and actually dies. No halfassed surgery? No one to suck the air out of her chest? UNFAIR

Todd and the Book of Pure Evil- Season #1

Todd Smith, stoner high schooler enters Battle of the Bands. It doesn’t go so hot for Todd. He embarrasses himself in front of his dream girl, Jenny and his band doesn’t make the cut. Woe is Todd!

 

Todd finds a book! Is this book Pure Evil? well yes, it is. But some magic words make his wish come true. And of course, things never turn out the way the wisher intends. Don’t worry, Jenny saves his ass. Turns out that the only clue she has about her father’s mysterious disappearance is a picture of the Book of Pure Evil. 

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The book keeps ending up in the hands of other Crowley High students (it is explained that the book appears to the depressed and desperate, who fits better than a high school student?) and it always gets freaky. Todd, Jenny, Todd’s one armed friend Curtis, and the nerdy Hannah. The guidance councilor is a Satanist,  Jason Mewes is the janitor and some stoners in the parking lot know more than they are letting on.

It’s a lot like Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny meets Scooby Doo. It’s hilarious.

And as foolish as it might sound there’s some clever shit happening.

Like Episode 3, where Jenny’s friend Marcie invites horny dudes over to her house for orgies and then feeds them to zombies. Much less cliche than most other anti-teen-sex scenarios. 

Or Episode 4, Gay Day, in which a gay student getting bullied finds the book and wishes that everyone in the school knew what it was like to be gay. The book complies and he becomes straight, all other boys become gay. And he says “I don’t want to be straight, I like being gay, I’m good at it!” and Todd says, “I’m not.” and laments that his entire identity is caught up in trying to get into Jenny’s pants.

In episode 7, Terrible Twin Turf Tussle, there are some of maybe the best lines on TV of all time, Jenny starts dating Dee, who’s real name is Delilah, which she doesn’t go by because “I’m named for a patriarchal Bible story that demonizes femininity.” Dee struts around in a Meat is Murder TeeShirt and watches Roller Derby, of which she says, “Isn’t it wonderful, they’ve liberated violence from male oppression. And the outfits are totally cute.” 

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On the other hand… in that same episode… Dee and her twin, also a lesbian are implied to be having a relationship. It reminded me of this interview I read with Teagan and Sara where one of them said that creepy weirdos always ask them if they fool around with each other, and then they said “If you’re straight does that mean you want to fuck your brother?” and I thought, man, are people really that stupid? And apparently they are.

In episode 5, fat phobia is presented as a logical thing to have as the school is attacked with obesity… 

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I know, really, that’s hideous. Before anyone says “why are you trying to take this show seriously, there was an episode where someone wished for a monster cock and it was longer than a python and turned people to stone?” Yeah there was. But really things that are ludicrously problematic could have been avoided. It was unnecessary, and it took away from the funny for me. There I said it.

All in all, it is very funny, and I really don’t understand why it got cancelled. Honestly it reminds me of my high school friends. Look! It’s me from high school!

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I’m the one dressed like a vampire (who wears a cross… le sigh).

Where are everyone’s parents? Ironically the only parental unit we ever hear about is jenny’s dad… who has been kidnapped. And the guidance councilor’s dad who is a cult leader.

There’s a ton of pot jokes, and hormonal teenage insanity and it’s hilarious. There’s a campaign to get a third season and/or an animated movie to polish off the series, check it on your Netfix and then head over here

Under the Dome- Episode 7

Norrie wakes up Joe to tell him she wants to go “talk to the dome” and convince it to go away. She wants to see him naked. Julia and Barbie wake up together. ZzzZzz Julia’s friend Harriet comes over for yogurt, she’s 8 months pregnant and her husband is deployed.

Jim smacks the shit out of Junior and kicks him out. Big Jim is untrustworthy as fuck. Junior tells Big Jim that “the dome was making Angie sick” and Jim says that Junior is the one who is sick. But it’s obvious that he is motivated by keeping Angie quiet.

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Harriet hallucinates her husband and touches the dome? And her water breaks (6 weeks early is not that early to have a baby, not that I’m an obstetrician).

Junior goes to the police station where Linda and Barbie are. Junior: now with assault rifle. NO GOOD! An even more emotionally disturbed Junior, now homeless AND armed is not an improvement.

Angie goes back to the diner alone to say goodbye to Rose. Ben shows up and Angie pulls a knife on him. She’s understandably unnerved. They have no one to take care of the bodies so Rose is a rotting corpse. In a restaurant.

Norrie and Joe are making out on the dome, “which was awesome” said Joe. 

Ollie, the guy who had water in the last episode if telling big Jim that his propane monopoly is over. Ollie has taken it over and a “guard” beats up Jim.

Linda and Junior are after the Dundees Linda spills to Junior that they were going to rape Angie after killing Rose but Barbie stopped them. Junior vows revenge… 

Julia and her pregnant friend get mugged/carjacked. It’s the Dundees! Barbie shows up! and shoots one of the brothers, but they run away. Junior’s ready to go vigilante (not surprised).

Joe’s all blah blah blah trigonometry. “If the dome didn’t come down, I might not have met you.” He knows trig but his dog is smarter than him. 

Angie wants to clean up the diner, Big Jim comes in beat up and pissed off and looking for a drink. He asks Angie if she talked to Ben about Junior.

Carolyn is worried about Alice. They have a very sweet moment before Julia barges in. 

Joe and Norrie find a dome within the dome… and in that dome, there is an egg.

Julia’s friend is having her baby ZzzzZzzzz

Linda and junior find the Dundees. One of the begs Junior for his life and Junior shoots him. Not surprised. Now he is going to think he protected Angie. I really hate him. Ollie is giving Jim shit, but Big Jim shoots up the guard’s truck. The minidome/egg makes Norrie hallucinate her mom and she knows something is wrong. Alice starts getting sick. Barbie has to deliver the baby. The baby is born and Harriet name’s her Alice. Alice says something about her heart.

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Seriously. What is going on here?  

Junior shows up at the diner where Angie is and tries to “send Ben home” Ben declines. YES! Good. Angie tells Junior to take a hike. And he tells her that the Dundees will never bother her again (but Junior will so WTF). Alice is not dead (yet. Don’t kill her) Angie finally finds Joe. She doesn’t tell him what’s happened to her. 

The show ends with adult Alice probably dead, Harriet and baby Alice happy and Julia and Barbie smooching while Norrie prays to the dome and the egg get purple and shiny. I don’t even know.

This episode was confusing and in all honesty… it was annoying.

And there was an interracial lesbian couple kissing on TV… and then one of them was dying by the end of the episode. Really? Really. Ridiculous. There was a really sweet moment and it was good to see. But alas, apparently that was all CBS/Stephen King/the world was willing to put out there. We have to see Barbie and Julia make out every 5 minutes, why doesn’t Julia get killed off? Oh, because their relationship is written with a “when is she going to find out he killed her husband” long term deception story arc (which maybe someone finds interesting, I don’t). The gay couple; better make sure one of them has a life threatening health concern. It’s bad writing. I hope she magically lives because “the dome/purple shiny egg” but that seems to be a problem in itself. 

Big Jim is getting more irrational and menacing. Junior is thinking he’s a good guy and creeping around the town with a badge. There was no Dodee and Phil in this episode. I hope Angie gets to have some of her own motivations with out being further kidnapped or assaulted. Better luck next week, Dome-sters.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer- S2 Ep6

Just watched the Season 2 Halloween episode of Buffy in which everyone becomes what ever they dressed up as for Halloween. 

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Buffy becomes a helpless 18th century noble woman, Xander is a brave soldier

And Willow:

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becomes a ghost. Luckily under that sheet, she looked totally fierce

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Anyway, various towns people turn into demons and apemen and vampires. After watching this episode about 15 years ago, it really impacted what I chose to wear for Halloween. If my costume came from a spellbound costume shop would I want to spend who knows how long as a French maid, or sexy pirate #4 or PocaHOTness? No way!

The past few years my costumes have slanted toward the superhero/super-villain variety. I know it’s a little early to start picking out your costumes (though, you can never really start too early).. But what do you go for? The scary, the sexy, the funny, the grotesque? Pop culture references? Celebrities? Classic monsters? 

The sheer number of sexy demons and ancient goddesses at most parties I’ve attended would mean havoc if this Sunnydale occurrence happened for real. 

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I would have loved to see Cordelia as a wereleopard, for the record.