Male Objectification Monday: Karl Urban

This should have been Tom Mison. @outofmyplanet reminded me it’s still about 150 days til Sleepy Hollow returns and I wanted to do it up right for our favorite fake founding father. But he doesn’t take his shirt off nearly enough. So here’s one:

 

So there you go, and now to today’s feature: Karl Urban. I am so terribly bummed that Almost Human was cancelled, but maybe the free time means he’ll be able to get cracking on Dredd 2.

Kick it old school with a blonde Urban in the Xena days

 

You know you’re fine if you can rock that stupid hair ‘do.

Warrior mode gain in 2007’s Pathfinder

I don’t know what’s happening in either of those and I don’t even care at all.

 

Look at that face.

With major roles in films from Lord of the Rings to Doom, Star Trek to Dredd I’m sure the 41 year old New Zealander won’t be hurting for work. He’ll be gracing big screens again in August for the thriller The Loft along side Rhona Mitra (Skinwalkers), Prison Break‘s Wentworth Miller and James Marsden (who I crushed hard on after 1998’s Disturbing Behavior and more recently played Scott Summers in X-Men and X-Men 2)

Damn you, Karl Urban. Take your shirt off more!

Sleepy Hollow Episode 11

Ichabod finally gets some modern garb. He hates skinny jeans. Ichabod is shaken from his encounter with Moloch in which Moloch threatened Abbie. Abbie thinks Moloch is bluffing, getting them to waste their time. Ichabod changes back into 18th century clothes (whhyy?!)

At the station they are interrogating the icecream vendor that was possessed and threatened Macy. But the spirit left him they call in the woman that he bumped into. That woman passes the spirit on to a cop and into another leaving Irving a step behind. Irving meets with Abbie and Ichabod and asks them to share Washington’s Bible to help defeat the demon.

Corbin had something on video about a possessed woman. He records her. Has her tied up. The woman is Jenny.

They didn’t watch any further out of respect for Jenny. She’s never seen it either. But they need to watch it in order to see how to take down the demon. Jenny would rather they just give the demon the Bible than face him. But Abbie reveals that the demon is after Macy and Jenny agrees to fight him. While possessed Jenny prophesied that Corbin who die at the hands of the Horseman. The demon said he would kill Abbie. Possessed Jenny flies through the air and Jenny storms out.

One of the men taking Macy and the rest of Irving’s family to the safe house is possessed. The other man passes the demon to Morales (Abbie’s ex -I smell angst! addendum: I was wrong!)

Ichabod finds Jenny still outside after her tantrum. Her car wouldn’t start. It also appears she’s been living out of her car. Jenny recalls being possessed.. how she did unforgivable things. It turns out that she would deliberately get arrested so that she’d be locked up when the demon left her with thoughts of hurting Abbie. Interesting twist! Ichabod appears to her again to help Macy.

A priest puts wards on the house. Possessed Morales tries to get the other man to break the wards.. he does. And Morales goes in. 

Abbie, Jenny and Ichabod rewatch the video. They notice the salt ring on the floor. A salt ring you say?! Was Corbin a fan of Supernatural?! J/K salt is said to bind bad spirits or demons much in the same was it is used to preserve food; purifying it and ridding it of contamination or decay. In Wicca it’s use in lieu of a blood sacrifice. However in the Bible salt was used to describe being a desolate wasteland and used as punishment not against evil. So I am not sure how it all works together. 

The demon is speaking backwards …in Ancient aramaic. Which Ichabod knows for some reason. They confirm that the demon is a minion of Moloch named Anticif. A french lantern from the 14th century helped cast out the demon. Ben Franklin had one, too. 

Irving arms himself, Macy studies while creepy Morales keeps an eye out. After Macy was hit by a car and ever since the accident Irving as been a protector, treating them as broken. His wife says that they are stronger than Irving gives them credit for. Irving takes a call from Abbie and then discovers that the demon is already in the house and already possessing Macy. 

Jenny reveals that the lantern is with some end of days whack jobs. Jenny helped arm them at one point. Macy tries to fight the demon that contorts her body, Possessed Macy snaps the neck of the priest and threatens Irving’s ex-wife. Irving calls Abbie and tells them he’s going to get the Bible and turn it over to the demon. So it becomes a race to retrieve the lantern and return before Irving can get back with the Bible. 

Abbie and Jenny get some sisterly snark about who is a better lock pick while Abbie is robbing the place. Ichabod spills the beans that Jenny committed crimes to keep Abbie safe (not your secret to tell, Ichabod). They get the lantern.. but the survivalists are waiting. Well armed is an understatement.

They appeal to them. The battle of good vs. evil has resumed.. Ichabod says it’s best to act now before the demons get stronger. Jenny gets the drop on their leader, Chase and they have to choice but to give it up. 

The Bible isn’t there and the demon is PISSED, so Irving tries to appeal to Macy to get her to fight. She does briefly… but the demon reemerges and throws them around. Jenny enters: shaken but ready to fight, Abbie enters right behind her. Looking confident that they have the demon right where they want them and that he won’t get back inside Jenny’s head. 

“Hand over the Bible, Witness or I will take your sister when I am done with this Vessel.” Abbie antagonizes him. “Why do you prey on children? Try me.” She lures him into a trap -a salt ring and Ichabod shines the lantern on Macy. In a swirl of smoke, CGI fire and screaming the demon is cast out.

Macy is scared but ok. Jenny looks on as the family embraces. Abbie hugs Jenny happy to understand all the time wasted between them. Ichabod mixes some lemon juice and stuff to find the invisible message in Washington’s Bible. The page says “December 18 1799” but according to the history books Washington died on December 14th -might I add that NO ONE knows this off the top of their head… but just because it says a date doesn’t mean he was alive on that date… but Abbie and Ichabod are confused as to how he could have written it… ummm… what?!

So if I type: JANUARY 19TH 2140 but I’m dead by then: OMG HOW COULD I DO THAT?!?! haha

Sleepy Hollow Episode 10

So here we are: in the episode titled: “the Golem” (which should have aired during Hanukkah, but instead is parading as a Holiday Episode), Ichabod is all “bah humbug” and thinking of his son… How did he grow up? What did he experience? Which is fine: it’s great, it’s real. But the fact that that this is touted as “How far would one father go?” …This infatuation that we have with romanticising DNA and biology with family… It’s not the same thing. 

The Sin Eater/Henry (played by John Noble from Fringe yay… welcome back!) Chokes Ichabod until he sees Katrina. Wow. (that’s what Walter Bishop would have done)

His son’s name was Jeremy. Katrina gave him up for adoption (After Ichabod died, but before she got stuck in limbo… which makes for some odd timing, really) She sent the baby off with Abbie’s ancestors. Katrina was banished by her own coven. Ichabod vows to find out what happened to baby Jeremy (230 years ago…)  Ichabod awakens in front of the Sin Eater after seeing a monster bust in to the Sanctuary in Purgatory. Then this leatherfaced eyeless monster awakens in the real world.

Are any of Jeremy’s descendants still alive? Who cares? Ichabod crunches some numbers and discovers that he potentially has 6000 living relatives.

Orlando Jones, Captain Frank rving is having a crisis of faith. 

Ichabod goes to find info about Trinity Church (Irving’s Church), where Katrina left Jeremy. Jeremy is possibly a pyrokinetic having inherited Katrina’s “powers” …umm… wasn’t Katrina a practicing witch? I didn’t think she had inherited abilities… ummm… Was she an X-Man? Anyway… Abbie’s ancestor’s dies in the blaze, which Ichabod apologizes for. Abbie tells him it wasn’t his fault (which it wasn’t and she NEVER MET THESE PEOPLE, they died 200+ years before her birth… DNA does not make you a FAMILY… omg)

While they are investigating at the Historical Center Library… the squirrely librarian makes a break for it. She gets in her car and then is promptly smashed like playdoh in the hands of a toddler. Ichabbie and the Sin Eater seem unsurprised, unfased by the gore and really didn’t to seem alarmed at where the monster may have gone to.

The Sin Eater has a reaction to a possession of the librarian’s. It is a box with the crest of Katrina’s coven. It’s full of lies and sins!

Jeremy was abused and accidentally manifested a monster to exact revenge. A monster of rage and grief in the absence of someone to protect him… ANGST for Ichabod! He should have been there! Even though from when he was living during the Revolution to how long he has been awake/alive again, if that happened in a straight line… this child would not even be alive. So… obviously this is stupid, to me anyway. Maybe someone buys into this whole DNA MEANS HE’S MY SON!! But I …umm.. don’t subscribe to that. Meanwhile we have never heard about any other of his family members, of friends, colleagues or cohorts.

After a brief visit where Irving tells his ex-wife that she deserved better than what he gave; Irving is enjoying the day out with Macy (Amandla AKA Rue from Hunger Games) talking about how she is not helpless and that she will fight to get out of the wheelchair and be capable. While he buys her a hot chocolate, the hot dog vendor gets cloudy eyed and says “but how strong is she?” Irving shakes the man down and a spirit floats out of him (the man left bewildered) and floats into a woman behind.

The search for the monster, that they decided through dubious deduction is a Golem. The search leads them to a carnival and a group of creepy witches. They say that Ichabod will seal their fate and they will die tonight (who cares?) 

The coven, I guess, said that they would help Jeremy. But he refused. So they invoked a hex to stop his heart. 

“You murdered my son.”

But only his blood can end the Golem. 

….

Ichabod and his son HAVE THE SAME BLOOD …that is most definitely NOT how genetics work… but I guess it’s good enough for magic. Ichabod tells the Golem that Jeremy is gone and there is nothing left to protect. The Golem is unrelenting and Ichabod is forced to stab him. He holds the Golem while he dies and says goodbye to his son through the Golem. He tells him he has endured enough and to be at peace. 

Calling the creature a Golem, despite obvious difference seemed like another way to connect all this supernatural mumbo jumbo to the Bible (because we have to make sure the Christian pantheon stays relevant in all this, right?) the creature’s manifestation was quite different in that it involved blood magic instead of prayer and walking in a circle around the raw material… but actually the manner of vanquishing was as similar, usually one would decommission a Golem by saying the words backwards, walking in the opposite direction around the Golem… and the Golem had to be taken out by the same blood… actually… it’s not that similar.

The Morlock scene at the end was the CHEESIEST. MORLOCK IS COMING FOR ABBIE’S SOUL!!

we got a #mistletease with Ichabbie. 

Why did we have the one angsty episode and then Ichabod lays his son to rest (mentally) in the span of 45 minutes? 

Honestly what ever is happening with Frank Irving was much more interesting. Let’s have more Orlando Jones action hero.