Male Objectification Monday- Michael Jai White

 

 

Welcome back a feature that has been missing for far too long with this handsome dude! What lead to this choice? Do you even have to ask? 

If you must know I recently got to meet the impressive, handsome and funny Michael Jai White at TerrorCon. Michael Jai White has recently frequently appeared on CW’s “Arrow” as well as notable in genre roles in The Dark Knight, Mortal Kombat and Spawn.

Look at that smile!

Fun fact: His first roles were in Toxic Avenger sequels (late 1980s).

 

And he starred in, wrote and produced the film Black Dynamite (2009).

White is an accomplished martial artist and his upcoming role in Falcon Rising later this year has him battling the yakuza in Brazil.

 

Looks so good I can overlook that he’s a DC guy and not a Marvel guy. …And an obligatory suit picture, because he cleans up well, he’s not just another set of stellar abs.

He’ll be back on “Arrow” again next season and gracing screens of all sizes with cinematic releases as well.

Check out Radio of Horror’s YouTube page for excerpts from Michael Jai White’s TerrorCon panel!

31 Horrifying Days- Day 20: A Fantastic Fear of Everything (2012)

This is one of my favorites that I’ve watched since starting this project. I’m behind, I know, but I’m catching up.

The film centers around Jack; a crime novelist whose research on serial killers has turned him into a paranoid, delusional, insomniac wreck must confront his worst fears when a film executive takes a sudden interest in his movie script. He assumes that the exec is planning to kill him of course. He’s suspicious of the only person who’s still speaking to him: Clair (Clare Higgins, “The Night of the Doctor”). Clair is his friend with money who buys him lunch and fluffs his hair and affectionately tells him that he’s sensitive. Clair also wishes that he would go back to writing children’s books. But Jack is past that. His new effort is consuming him. And he doesn’t understand why she doesn’t understand.

#1 I frigging love Simon Pegg and he really brings horror comedy to the next level.

#2 I love when academics/artists/workaholics get pushed to the brink.

 I have undying affection for anyone who does anything so wholeheartedly that it eats them alive. So Jack starts carrying a butcher knife everywhere, losing time, seeing things out of the corner of his eye, falling in to narcoleptic naps, seeing a “psychopathic stare” in people’s eyes, narrating his own life, envisioning Vietnamese crimelords and concocting relationships between people that make o sense.

“I’m not here to hurt anybody. I’m a professional writer.”

His terrifying moments jump from seeing ghosts with eyes in their mouth to the humiliation of tossing his dingy underwear across the laundrette in front of a beautiful woman, Sangeet (played by an actress who is of Sri Lankan descent. Diversity is cool). 

For any aspiring professional, not having clean dress clothes for an important last minute meeting is as terrifying as any serial killer. 

Visually magnificent, great soundtrack. Written and co-directed by Crispian Mills, it’s his first feature and it’s truly outstanding. Chris Hopewell co-directed. For two unknowns especially: it’s outstanding. Part of it is reminiscent of James and the Giant Peach. 

Towards the end of the flick Jack and Sangeet end up in real danger, held captive by a madman. Can Jack pull it together and help get them out of it? Or will he crack? Or will Sangeet save them? Or will art save them?

But is it scary? Parts are actually creepy because you don’t know what to expect. But really? It’s just a ton of fun and amusement.

5/5

 

31 Horrifying Days- Day 16: Quarantine (2008)

I haven’t watched a zombie movie in a while and I’d never seen this one. Well, no one ever says the Z word. But it features humans affected by a rage-virus much in the same style as 28 Days Later and affected animals like in Resident Evil that fall ill and then try to eat your freaking face off, the afflicted are unhindered by pain, unable to speak and without reason. They are sensitive to light and hard to kill.

The modern interpretation of a zombie.

Jennifer Carpenter (“Dexter”, Exorcism of Emily Rose) stars as Angela Vidal, a television reporter working on a fluff piece about LA’s Bravest. She, along with cameraman Scott (played by Steve Harris, “Awake” and the voice of Clayface on “The Batman”) hang out with the firefighters at the station: shoot hoops, eat chilli, make small talk, then they head out on a call.

The call is medical and they arrive at an apartment building along with the police before the EMTs. When they get there they head upstairs and find an addled looking woman with blood around her collar and then the bodies start dropping. Sometimes literally. One of the firemen gets thrown down 3 floors straight onto the tile. They try to get outside, but the police (and later National Guard and CDC) have them locked in. Even with an injured officer and firefighter. Those inside search for alternate routes and are met with assault rifles and ordered to back away from windows. The police won’t tell them anything and soon they are without cell reception and electricity (this one’s weird. The elevator is on “auxiliary power” and a resident’s TV still works, but there’s no lights. Doesn’t add up except to add to the atmosphere). Angela tells Scott to keep rolling, that people won’t believe this. 

And he does. Of course, one of the things I dislike about mockumentary/found footage films is the implausibility of someone lugging a camera around with rage zombies actively trying to eat their face. He does bash one of the turned over the head with it. The lens gets bloodied. Slightly off camera Scott falls apart while cleaning the blood. Some of the camera angles don’t work. He’d be taping an infected chasing them right till they were face to face but then be first through the door to get the shot of everyone coming in. That’s a nitpick, though. At one point the camera is actually integral because conditions are pitch dark and it has night vision.

It is really good. And the characters work well, the first responders are freaked out but ready for a fight and regular people like Angela and Scott are not built for this. After seeing a firefighter get up walking on a broken leg and a little girl rip out her mom’s throat… she’s done. “I’m done. I’m not moving.” There’s a wealthier white man who wants to exercise his god-given right to die in his own apartment, a young Indian-American couple with nice clothes and a bathroom full of prescription sedatives and narcotics, a pair of North Africans who don’t speak English, the tough cop who is at first reluctant to go against orders (Columbus Short, “Scandal”), the hot firefighter who lives the longest (Jay Hernandez, Hostel, “Gang Related”) and a veterinarian (Greg Germann, “NCIS”) who diagnoses the infected with a mutated form of rabies.

The CDC arrives. The CDC also tells them that a blood test will confirm if they are infected. The veterinarian tells them that they’d need a brain sample. Everyone freaks the hell out. The CDC ends up getting eaten and no one gets their brain sampled. 

As numbers dwindle, the search for a way out leads to an unnecessary plot point. The virus was cultivated by some freakshow in rats first in the name of some cult. It didn’t add much to the plot. It didn’t need it. Dark apartment complex full of relatable people search for a way out while on the run from hyper-rabid former friends.

There are a few females in the film but no girl-power to speak of. I feel as though Angela’s flailing and inability to find a weapon suited her TV diva character… but I wish that there had been an Officer Deb Morgan somewhere.

4.25/5 (I fucking love zombies)

But it should be noted: this movie is based on the Spanish horror film [REC] from 2007, the main character’s name is even the same. I’ll definitely be watching the original.

31 Horrifying Days: Day 15- Rapture-Palooza (2013)

The rapture has happened and Lindsey (Anna Kendrick, Into the Woods), her boyfriend Ben (John Francis Daley, “Freaks and Geeks”), and their families have been left behind, doomed to endure torture on Earth. A former politician named Earl Gundy (Craig Robinson, This is the End), now known as The Beast, is the Anti-Christ. But when The Beast decides he wants to take Lindsey as his wife, Lindsey and Ben must come up with a plan to defeat the Anti-Christ. 

…Lindsey and Ben are supposed to be teens… but they’re a full decade into adulthood, both actors have played iconic teens AND adults. While it’s played cute and Kendrick’s nasally voice and good skin makes it almost believable and Dalet channels his Sam Weir persona.. it’s still weird.

They think about starting their own sandwich cart because “people appreciate a good sandwich, even when the world is ending.”

The remaining earthlings make due without a lot of resources, with locusts biting their ankles, blood rain and fiery meteor storms. When one of those fiery meteors lands on their sandwich cart, Ben’s dad gets them a job working for the Beast. He lays eyes on Lindsey and lays the mack on her. Ben is not amused but his Dad tries to get him to be cautious. “I’m not going to let the Anti-Christ steal my girlfriend, dad.” he says, “I Don’t care, I’m punching that guy in the face.” But Ben’s dad ices him with a shovel, and upon finding out that Lindsey is a virgin, the Beast is more enamored. He decides to marry her, if she declines: he’ll kill her family and Ben.

So Ben and Lindsey decide to lock him in a kennel for 1000 years.

Good plan.

Except they have no choice but to involve their zombie neighbor, wraith security guards and Lindsey’s pothead brother as well in their convoluted plan involving sleeping pills and a ride on mower.

They get caught up in a murder plot… and accidently kill Jesus. 

Craig Robinson is hilarious. Everyone clobbers each other with shovels (before it was cool).

 

If you’re in the mood for some funny with horror/supernatural elements check this one out.

4/5

 

31 Horrifying Days- Day 14: The Sacrament (2014)

Filmed “mockumentary” style much in the same way as recent fave Lucky Bastard. The Sacrament follows VICE magazine journalist and photogs on a trip to a commune to see Eden Parish a commune/cult previously guarded in secrecy that quickly finds them in a fight for their lives.

As the Mummy said “a good cast is worth repeating”

Amy Seimetz is Caroline. True believer who encourages her brother and VICE mag to visit. She played Aimee in You’re Next. AJ Bowen (who has lost considerable weight) who played Crispian and Joe Swanberg who played Drake from You’re Next play the interviewer and photographer.

Ti West directed the Sacrament and starred as Tariq in You’re Next. Kentucky Audley (who starred in Amy’s directorial debut Sun Don’t Shine) plays her fashion photog brother. Eli Roth (Hostel) “presents” this.

It’s all connected. Giving work to your talented friends is always a good choice.

Visually this movie is impressive. It’s shot in perfectly to be very quintessential “hipster/journalist/highbrow/trendy swagger. AJ Bowen nails it. Gene Jones gives me the creeps as the well spoken and exceedingly charismatic cult leader. Bowen’s Sam becomes concerned about the well being of the commune’s members even though most of them are happy. He’s granted an interview with The Father, who gets defensive about the story that Sam is trying to spin. Sam has found out that the followers have given their life’s savings (which is a little silly, since many interviewed said that the Father saved them from a life of crime, addiction and poverty) and after the face to face, Sam receives a note saying “Please Help Us” from a young girl.

The trio of journalists are set to leave the next morning, but Sam tries to bring the young girl with them. The Father sees that he and his cult will be negatively exposed and police will be involved so he shoots the helicopter pilot (who implausibly waits for the VICE crew while bleeding out. nonsense) and then Jake and Sam end up in a fight to save their asses while the Father encourages his followers the take “the last sacrament” and sends gunmen to finish the job.

The set up is long. LONG.

But worth it.

The film is based on 1978’s real life Jonestown Massacre and cult The People’s Temple. Jim Jones, upon figurig out that he was going to be exposed called followers to his settlement in Guyana. People were set working long hours in crowded living conditions. While some wished to be there and living off the land, there was no changing your mind. Jones wouldn’t allow anyone to leave and was an egomaniac. Instead of edgy reporters visiting, it was congressman Leo Ryan, NBC crew and concerned family members. One of the NBC crew was handed a note with names of people who wanted to leave and were prisoner. They tried to leave, Ryan staying behind (as Sam did) to make sure that members weren’t hurt. But then they were attacked at the airport. Jones convinced them that the US government would come in and punish them.. the only way out would be poison punch.

based on a true story with excellent modern touches and a recognizable but not obnoxiously famous cast? I dig.

4.25/5

31 Horrifying Days- Day 13: Godzilla (2014)

Lazy as hell. Make due with Radio Of Horror‘s official video review.

The only thing I’d like to add -Aaron Taylor-JOHNSON (told you he had 2 last names)who plays Ford finds a little buddy at one point and saves him from monsters on a train. When the monster’s are around Elizabeth Olsen’s Elle, the shots are all her running for her life. I’m just saying, she could have had a side adventure. The bus driver on the bus that her son was on got in on some heroics and he was in the picture for 5 minutes. 

4.25/5

Don’t be cheap, go see it on the big screen.

31 Horrifying Days- Day 11: From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)

I’ve been watching and reviewing the new El Rey series, so I decided it was time for a refresher of the original incarnation.

The film is grittier, on TV Zane Holtz and DJ Cotrona never beak a sweat even in their suitcoats in the desert heat. Clooney looks appropriately greasy, there’s nudity, creative cussing and more carnage. The movie, which is 1/2 criminal caper and then abruptly turns into a vampire flick; progresses quickly in comparison.

Which makes sense, characters get well fleshed out. We see why Jacob’s faith is shaken, we see why Kate is willing to do whiskey shots with an ex-con who has them hostage. Santanica becomes a sympathetic character. In the film version she’s one of those spicy latina cliches and sticks her foot in Tarantino’s mouth.

In the series she needs Richie, in the film? She just chomps him. We meet Seth’s wife, where in the film she’s just an off handed comment. The cops who are cannon fodder in the flick get motivation, background and emotion in the series.

But there’s one character who doesn’t: Frost. But they have the same archetype. Big black dudes who are former military. But the film’s Frost (played by Fred Williamson, who has been making movies since the early 70s, and has quite a few upcoming) is integral to the longevity of the protagonists, he’s big as a house, but compared to war he thinks killing some vampires isn’t much trouble, he starts telling grisly a tale of serving in ‘Nam when Sex Machine goes vamp and takes a bite. but he fights until the end. The series’ Frost, who they find hiding in the supply room served in the Middle East and the vampires are giving him flashbacks. Very different reactions. He overcomes his anxiety just in time to fulfill the trope and sacrifice himself for all the white people. It’s ridiculous.

And Rodriguez has created a sensibly diverse cast for the series other than that major folly.

Also, Sex Machine isn’t in the series and instead Jake Busey plays Professor Aiden Tanner which is the direct opposite.

What I like better about the film? why do vampires have to be sympathetic, anyway? I like them as the are here, inexplicable monsters with insatiable thirst. It’s a mess of special effects, but it holds up well for being 18 years old, the vampires morphing into huge rats, faces in their stomachs, exploding pustules.

But is it scary? Nope. A wild ride at Titty Twisters, but not much in terms of a fear factor.

4.25/5

31 Horrifying Days- Day 8: Devil’s Pass (2013)

This film follows a group of American students who set out to Russia’s Ural mountains as they film a documentary trying to uncover what happened to 9 skiers who died under mysterious circumstances on a trip to Siberia in 1959. The project is lead by psychology student Holly who has always had nightmares that she later recognized to be Dyatlov’s Pass.

This incident with the 9 skiers? That really happened. For reasons unknown (but heavily theorized) the group went mad all of a sudden, some fleeing camp without shoes or outerwear in temperatures ranging from -17 to -24 degrees, when they were found many had inexplicable internal injuries, and one was missing her tongue and eyes. Most had no sign of defensive wounds, not even abrasions or scratches on the skin but suffering cracked skulls or broken ribs. A current theory is that a repetitive wind even caused infrasound that caused unease and panic in the travellers and drove them mad. You can read more about that here.

When a viable possibility of the real events is that the wind itself caused the skiers to become paranoid and suicidal/homicidal the movie pretty much writes itself. The current bunch of students become increasingly afraid that they are being followed, then they become suspicious that Holly is planting foot prints to make her film more interesting, Holly and film crew travel mate Jensen find a door, locked from the outside to a snow covered bunker but before they can explore they are hit by an avalanche that claims one party member and seriously wounds another. They agree to set off a flare, but help arrives what Andy deems to be “too soon” and he fires at them with the flare gun while the others make a run, the other men fire back and the audience is left wondering whether they only began firing because Andy aimed the flare gun.

 

Are the frigid temperatures, isolation, dwindling resources, unreliable technology and possibly infrasound getting to them all?

It seems reasonable. And the film is suitably tense and gripping.

Which is why it’s so bizarre that the last 30 minutes is a completely different film.

Instead of a psychological thriller set far off from civilization where a Scooby Gang of artists and academics rile each other up and freak themselves out: we end up with weird creatures, teleportation and the Philadelphia Project. 

Devil’s Pass was written by Vikram Weet, who’s been a coordinator on many popular reality shows, his experiences really enhance the realism of the interactions between characters and the developing malaise and hysteria. Finnish director Renny Harlin, known for Die Hard 2, Exorcist: the Beginning and several episodes of “Burn Notice” lends his eye on this one. I’m just baffled at the final twist.

Was it scary? Yeah… It was a bit scary. The thought of temperatures between -17 and -24 degrees is actually terrifying enough for me on it’s own.

3/5

31 Horrifying Days-Day 7:All Cheerleaders Die

The movie begins mockumentary style following Blackfoot High Cheerleader Lexi. The uber-popular self proclaimed “diplomat” dies horrifically in a cheer acident that snaps her neck. Childhood friend Maddy (Caitlin Stasey, I, Frankenstein) wants revenge after Lexi’s boyfriend Terry (Tom Williamson) rebounds quickly with Lexi’s cheermate Tracy (Sianoa Smit-McPhee, Zombieland). So Maddy joins the squad and sets a plan in motion to break up Tracy and Terry. Maddy and Lexi hadn’t been friends since junior high, Lexi went the school spirit, socialite route while Maddy got rebellious. But she blames the cheerleaders for Lexi’s death and sets out for revenge.
Her plan is successful but as the first day of school approaches: tensions mount. Maddy ends up seducing Tracy, much to the aggravation of Maddy’s wiccan ex girlfriend Leena. A keg party brings out drama between the other cheerleaders: sisters Hannah and the prissy chaste  Martha bicker, Tracy and Maddy hookup in the woods… then Terry gets violent with Tracy.
After 33 minutes of teen drama,  finally something horror related happens. 33 LONG minutes.
Terry (and fellow football jerks) run Tracy, Maddy, Hannah and Martha off the road.

Leena drags them out of the lake and resurrects them with the magical stones se totes around. It all seems okay, momentarily Except.. Hannah and Martha are in each other’s bodies… and Tracy is ravenously.
Unimpressed with Leena’s menu, Tracy breaks into her neighbor Larry’s house. She chugs a gallon of milk, horks in his sink, seduces him and then sticks her finger through his jugular. The rest of the undead posse busts in. And they drink his blood. And then they feel strong. Blood thirsty she-beasts who can throw people 200 feet? Badass.

Tracy is anxious to get to school. Homicide, blood thirst and murderous exes be damned.
They discover that if anyone feels something strongly that they all feel it. Hannah has sex with Martha’s boyfriend (while Hannah is in Martha’s body) and the rest of the girls drop to their knees and have orgasms in the hall. Way to lay low, huh?
In between snacking on classmates, teen drama returns. Crushes and rivalries are revisited as teenage life- even as a ghoul proves traumatic.

Maddy is not taking the fact that she needs blood to continue on well. Other girls quibble over cell phones and late night plans and Maddy hits the shower, the other girls find Maddy’s video diary and see that she joined the cheerleading squad to break up Tracy and Terry. She whines, “But that was last week! I didn’t even know you then!” and Tracy storms off.
…with everything glaring wrong with it… I still gave it credit. A female revenge flick with out rape? YES
Until it wasn’t 74 (out of 89) minutes into the movie, they toss that in there.  WTF WHY??
Wack shit.
It gets to be funny and a little gory,  girl power mixed in with cliches for days.
Towards the end Terry finds the source of their revitalization and starts hunting them down for their …magic rocks.

Was it scary? Nooope. But it was awesome.. about 28% of the time. Far too much time spent on establishing snotty teen angst before the got down to the gore. The plot doesn’t make enough sense to require that much set up. Magic rocks resurrect cheerleaders. Bang. Done. The title actually makes little sense, seeing as how the gossiping girls come back to life. The actresses are all stunning, but too much of the film focussed on pandering and playing that up. Although, bonus that the lesbian relationships were surprisingly sensual. Leena’s love for Maddy allows her to do magical and unbelievable things: like raise the dead. They fight hard for each other. That type of devotion in LGBT couples is really shown on screen, especially in cheesy genre flicks.

Written and directed by Lucky McKee (May) and Chris Sivertson (I Know Who Killed Me) -it’s technically a remake of their 2001 film by the same name.

It had it’s moments, I don’t know if this film was worth doing twice, though.

2.5/5

 

31 Horrifying Days- Day 6: Dead Before Dawn (2013)

A bunch of college kids accidentally unleash an evil curse that causes people to kill themselves and turn into Zombie Demons, aka ZEMONS! (Or dombies, Cassie Hack knows)

So, essentially the plot is somewhat Evil Dead: people driven crazy enough by a curse to eat their own hands or play with a hornet’s nest or set themselves on fire. The characters are Breakfast Club style archetypes, something that plenty of horror flicks: from Cabin in the Woods to Detention of the Dead has tried with more or less success. It also adds slapstick humor to horror elements in a way that’s very reminiscent of “Todd and the Book of Pure Evil”.

The main character, Casper Galloway (Devon Bostick, Art of the Steal) has been afraid of his grandfather’s occult shop since his father died there when he was a child. He agrees to watch the store and when his crush, Charlotte comes in he tries to show off by showing her this cursed urn. Which breaks. The group unknowingly concocts the world’s most inane curse: Anyone they make eye contact with kill themselves and become zombie demons who will try to kill them with hickies and if they French kiss them the zemons will be their slaves, and if they don’t break the curse before dawn they’ll be cursed forever.

With a plot that includes death by zemon hickies, it’s obvious that there are laughs to be had. Some of those come from Casper’s grandfather played by the legendary Christopher Lloyd, who even drops a “Great Scott!” in for good measure.

The group splits up initially with only Casper concerned about the curse they created. But when night falls and the town starts turning demonic, they quickly realize their peril. 4 group members Charlotte, cheerleader BFF Lucy and football players Dazzler and Patrick end up turning both teams. Seth Munday works at a convenience store and runs into a large portion of the town. Becky turns her blind date while Casper accidentally causes his mother’s death. With pandemonium ensuing they are in a race against time to stop the curse. There’s also a couple love connections. 

This film is mostly fluff. The characters act younger then they should and there’s no real uncharted territory being pioneered here. Still, it is enjoyable.

There are some interesting running jokes (hot dog mug, for example). And the plot is simple but cohesive from start to finish. Low on gore, but there’s bucket of blood and creative ways to die.

But is it scary? Nope. Not by a long shot. The set up is amazing. I adore the concept of the characters creating their own curse. But even with the copious amounts of blood, it’s too cartoony to fear.  

The characters aren’t more than tokens. One black character, action chick with bow and arrow, quirky beta male, crush, rival, “slutty” cheerleader, stoner dude… it’s been done. There’s not much depth. Well.. there’s not really any depth. 

2.75/5