Almost Human: Episode 7

A solar flare has knocked out power. There are generators but they are experiencing rolling blackouts. Everything is rationed including charging the androids. 

Detective Paul AKA Captain Energy is giving Kennex shit about his fake leg not getting top priority.

In fact, he gives the MXs charging priority. And the DRN freaks out. He punches Det. Paul (who was obviously left in charge solely because Lilli Taylor getting punched by Michael Ealy wouldn’t be funny.) Dorian didn’t even get half a charge. He calls it a social injustice. 

Elsewhere; A man gets gassed by a window washer with a can of spraypaint and then he wakes up with a robot collar -it’s a bomb… a bomb with a camera. A robotic voice asks him if he’s “ready to play” he is instructed to open a briefcase (there’s a gun inside) and he is instructed to go back to the bank where he works. A woman nervously greets him, “Ramon, you’re back” and asks him about the collar, he panics and holds her up. He makes the coworker hand over the cash.

Kennex and Dorian rush to the bank when they get the call that there is a robbery in progress.

A display counts viewers… the man is up to more than 3,400 when Dorian and Kennex tell him that they are too late and there is nothing they can do. They put a shield up around him to contain the blast. 

They find cameras all over the car. And a Bitcoin. 

What’s a Bitcoin?

Thanks newwavetraders.com !

Stahl reports that cybercrimes saw the video and that it streamed live. 

Kennex stops to visit Rudy who is recreating the bomb. He also takes that opportunity to ask Rudy if Dorian is about to have one of those meltdowns that got the DRNs commissioned. Rudy decides not… but says it depends on his activity level (not entirely reassuring that Dorian won’t get to the brink).

The … hacker? villainous social media mastermind? picks his next victim. And successfully baits Kennex into having to be the hero. The victim is a 20 something girl who works for her father at a flower shop. The criminal orders flowers, drugs her, slaps the collar on her and gives her instructions. Kennex and Dorian show up as viewers tune in. She says that the guy who did it: his name is Simon. They met online. The viewers say that he gave Jeannie too much time. 

The creep villain lunatic is your typical emo hacker nerd stalker. Tropes tropes. 

Dorian’s charge starts getting too low, he’s having a hard time diffusing the bomb. He tells Kennex to put up the shield. He doesn’t. He decides to help with the bomb. As the clock ticks lower and lower comments come pouring in, “Cops gonna die now!!!” and “YOLO” (no one will say ‘YOLO’ in 2038!)

They successfully save the girl.

Kennex always saves the girl. The men explode. 

Anyway. Now they’ve got a clue, an unstable Dorian, a snarky and cocky Kennex and they head off to find the emo loser murderer stalker fuckhead, Simon Lynch. 

An explosion goes off where they should have been apprehending the bad dude and the fumes knock Kennex out. (they knew this guy had the gas… why no gas masks?)

Kennex wakes up on a park bench… with a bomb collar… and he’s shackled to the bench. He enthusiastically answers Lynch’s call. Kennex is given tools, an opportunity to save himself. Disarm his own bomb. Maldonado, Stahl and co see the footage. The cops arrive. A sniper gets into position… But Lynch has a deadman switch (which, in case this is the first cop show you’ve ever watched: means that is Lynch lets go then the bomb detonates). Kennex break a tool and has to use a token. Meanwhile Lynch tells Kennex that he knows about Kennex’s psych eval and that they aren’t that different (yes you are. You strap bombs to people, asshole). Lynch failed a psych eval that got him kicked out of the police academy and then he tried to take out a loan to open up a bar but he couldn’t because the mark on his record followed him around. (Hence killing the loan officer)

Kennex is fumbling and trying to diffuse the bomb while Dorian scales the building to try to take down Lynch and take over the deadman switch. Which he does of course. And Kennex neutralized the bomb just as Dorian powers down.

Back at the station, Kennex fesses up to Maldonado. Lynch got to him about one thing. Kennex can sympathize, he sees that people at the station look at him differently now like he’s a ticking time bomb. He recognizes that if it wasn’t for Maldonado he wouldn’t be there.And she flatters him by telling him what an asset he is.

Issues with this episode: Stahl still sidelined. Why?!

Lack of real suspense: Really, like Kennex was going to die?

Using “evil side of social media” as a way to say that people are disconnected from humanity. It’s excessive. And the internet can bring people together.

Which is why I am also going to call out: of course! The girl met the twisted sociopath on an online dating site. PANIC! Is this Degrassi?

Or is this SAW 45? Because that’s where this plot came from.

And no one calls out anyone else for tiptoeing around Dorian because the other DRN’s went nuts? Really? Only Kennex gets sympathy for that one.

And mind you, episode one he was having flashbacks and this really hasn’t been revisited since.

Not the triumphant return that it could have been. We need to get back to Kennex trying to figure out what really happened to his partner. And Stahl needs to be involved.

Agents of SHIELD Episode 9

From ABC.com: A mysterious force threatens to destroy Coulson and the team!

(isn’t that every episode?)

“Jack Benson was a friend of mine.” A woman buying toiletries from a gas station is harassed by the clerk. She tries to leave but he acts aggressively towards her. Suddenly canned goods fly off the shelves and pelt the man. He asks, “Did you do that?” She shakily says she did not. The man flees as shelves knock into him, hoses from the gas pumps flood the lot and newspapers (that show the headline that 4 men died in a factory accident where the shopping woman was a manager) burn, explosions ensue.

May and Ward get the news simultaneously… since they’ve had a sleepover… AGAIN. I have to say… I like this a TON better than Ward and Skye. It was just so typical. Ward needs to be everyone’s hero -but doesn’t let himself get close to anyone (oooh), Skye as a lost youth in over her head… blah blah. Instead we get May’s icy cool demeanor to match his, an action hero all her own instead of a girl who will need saving. A match of equals… Yeahhhhh

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Ming-Na Wen retweeted this cartoon. Is that Lego Marvel Heroes? I think that’s what I see. Haha

SHIELD figures the woman is a telekinetic (her name is Hutchins). At the factory a particle accelerator exploded, they are wondering if that’s what brought on telekinesis. They show up and the townspeople in her lovely church community are already on their frigging witch-hunt. As they chuck eggs at her a Police car runs at them. Coulson tackles someone out of harms way of the careening police car. But people get more riled up. The woman says it wasn’t her, but local PD gets ready to shoot. May preemptively tasers the woman and they haul her off. Which, while not great etiquette, I’d rather be tasered than shot.

FitzSimmons lament that they never got to play any pranks because they graduated early. Then they decide that Skye is a freshman and they should prank her.

Coulson is aggravated that May tasered her and now she’ll wake up in a strange room all alone and scared. So he wants May to explain it to her.

She does and the woman is very understanding. When Coulson and May suggest that a reaction has cause telekinesis she says that it is not her… that she is being haunted by demons.

Oh boy. The team think it’s delusions of persecution caused by guilt and trauma. But in the background we see the figure of a man (who then dissipates).

May says that people believe what they want to believe to justify their actions. “Is that what you need to believe to justify you shoot first policy?” Snarky… Oooh. Coulson tells her to stay away from Hutchins as things in his office get knocked over. Skye then takes her shitty mood and judginess over to Ward and she tells him that May has a stick up her ass and needs to get laid (which she is get laid, by the man Skye is talking smack about May to… like a High school Freshman) And then she tells Ward the story that FitzSimmons told her… I thought she was a genius or something… how did she fall for this?

The… ghost? tries to pick SHIELD’s supersecure room lock with a butter knife.

Tobias Ford hard been lodging safety complaints (all founded) against Hannah’s department. 

Fitz is thinking up pranks while Simmons works hard. She’s looking over the data from the particle accelerator and finds that it opened “a door” and the ghost-man? Tobias Ford finishes, “to Hell!” and he smashes the hologram with a giant wrench. Simmons screams and Coulson enters. Hannah was telling the truth! She’s not telekinetic! Tobias cuts the power on the plane. They’re going down!

May hops into action to land the bird. Skya asks “What can I do?” and May replies, “buckle up”. Yeahhh… that’s about all you can do, Skye. Nice that the woman you talk smack about for… doing her job… can save you all. AGAIN.

Simmons is explaining that she saw a ghost. Skye wants to be the one to explain the situation to Hannah (good thing she’s good at talking). 

Fitz, locked in the broom closet for the ordeal, thinks Simmons is getting really good at pranks.

Skye does talk to Hannah, tells her that she knows it’s not Hannah and that she doesn’t think God is punishing her. That God would forgive a mistake. Agent May coldly orders Skye to go fix the frigging plane. Which she’s offended by and tells May not to hurt Hannah more than she has. (yes, getting everyone out of mortal danger should obviously come second to one person’s feelings). Anyway. May stands guard.

Fitz, Simmons and Ward get haunted while they try to fix the plane. Simmons thinks the door may have been to an alien dimension, not Hell. (which, honestly while not “religious Hell” could still be rather Hell-like and then, what difference would it actually make?) Ward gets quite a beating from the able to appear anywhere at any moment Tobias. 

Skye is STILL shooting her mouth of about Agent May. STILL. That May’s “the Cavalry” and not sensitive enough to deal with Hannah. Coulson tells her to knock it off, and he gets emotional finally telling the real story of how May got that name and how saving youths in danger from a cult changed her. There was no horse, there was no gun, there was only Agent May. 

Coulson says that May used to be a lot like Skye. And Skye surmises that is why Coulson keeps her around, to see if that person comes back. (umm… not because she’s an insanely smart and qualified agent? But because he loves her and wants her to be like Skye?)

FitzSimmons says that less and less of Tobias is coming back every time. Maybe if they wait it out, he’ll be gone for good. 

“I don’t mean to scare you, I just need to use you as bait.” May draws Tobias away from the rest of her team.

Skye has it figured out. Tobias loves Hannah, he caused safety violations in her area so that he would have to meet with her. It was all to get her attention… because he likes her. 

Aaaaaaahhhhhh

After some brawling with May where he slips through her arms, May gets wise to this, too. She asks Hannah to say that May is a friend. Tobias confesses what he’s done (going too far with sabotage and killing 3 of his friends) and thinks he’s being dragged to Hell for it. May tells him that he can never go back to being who he was… and holding on is Hell. 

And at the end; Skye plays nice with May and May pranks Fitz who didn’t expect that from her at all. So maybe the warm and youthful May is in there somewhere…

My assessment of this episode: I actually really love that it’s Ward and May hooking up. 

But what the heck is Skye’s problem with May? She doesn’t even SUSPECT much less know that May and Ward are together, since Ward and Skye have flirted with each other in the recent past, I could understand if she was jealous for that reason. But just deciding that May isn’t “nice” …fuck you, Skye. 

Because, actually, I think she has been nice. Last episode: it was “nice” of her to confront her horribly traumatic past by picking up the Berserker staff so Ward didn’t have to do it on his own. It was “nice” of her to break orders and fly in to save Ward and Fitz with Skye and Jemma (in episode 7: The Hub). It was really nice (also episode 7) when she let Coulson talk out his problems by LISTENING to him instead of interrupting him with her feelings. FUUUUUUCK

And more about that traumatic past of May’s; Skye just can’t take her word for it. She actually needs a man, Coulson, to explain that it was a horrible and hopeless situation that changed May forever. Ummm…. But if it gets Coulson so upset than it must be really really bad. So now Skye can have empathy for May. (Which, once again, why Skye just decided to hate May… I don’t know)

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Really the only good part of this episode was the pranks. Fitz and Simmons reclaim some youth. The mop + gas mask flying out of the closet scaring even Ward and Coulson? epic. And of course May getting in, her sly smile… epic. 

Also, we glorified stalking behavior on TV again. Tobias was just doing it to protect Hannah. And Hannah said gently, “No Tobias, what have you done?” He kept hurting people to right the wrong he had done to Hannah not the 3 other men and their families and the gas station attendant and his family or the fact that he tried to crash a plane with people on it (including Hannah). Even though Hannah knows his behavior is wrong she still feels bad for him. Ugh. Sabotaging a particle accelerator is not romantic. STAHP

Under The Dome: Episode One

The only English speaking channel that I have at my residence gets a speculative fiction show!

Hooray!

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Hi, new TV friend! His name is Barbie, btw.

The show starts off with him burying a dead body and trying to high tail it out of town.

I don’t know what to make of him. I mean, he killed someone. Obviously. Classic “bad guy” move. But then he’s saving little farm boys and driving people to the hospital. He used to be in the army. He’s paranoid. (me too).

And I fully expect that he will kick Junior’s ass.

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Crazy. The answer to that question is: Crazy.

Possessive asshole. Total creep.

His first scene is with his girlfriend, Angie.

Junior: “I love you, Angie”

Angie: “Yeah, it’s been a great summer”

And then he tries to grab her and she smacks his face. Junior’s a sick asshole and this meme makes me want to punch CBS. You don’t take people you love hostage, get this man a psychotherapist!

Random things I liked: The interracial lesbian couple and their punkass daughter.

The radio station staff. “Our ratings are going to be awesome.”

How hot Barbie is.

The tension of who’s stuck inside/outside. Kids with no parents. Cops at a parade, Firemen that went out on a call.

Stephen King got executive producer. Hopes are high.

I love conspiracies. Who’s in on it? Who benefits? AHHH

Random things I didn’t like: DIG A HOLE.

YOU DIDN’T EVEN TRY GOING UNDERNEATH IT.

 

also;

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No. He almost let a plane crash fall on his head. He’s doomed.

Colin Ford (the actor who plays Joe) has also played a young Sam Winchester. awwww ❤