All-New X-Men #27

Now this one’s interesting. Bendis kill me because #26 was focussed on drama, feelings, the shattered team dynamics. This one? Not so much. Non-stop action and revelations. 

The Charles Xavier from the future Brotherhood? Mystique’s child with Charles Xavier. I still don’t know exactly how that works.. And Raze is his half brother, the child of Mystique and Wolverine. Raze had been parading as his mother long after she had died. Weird. Raze has also shifted into the form of X-23 and infiltrated the New Xavier School. It happens fast, one of the Cuckoos, Mindee, is under future Jean/Xorna’s control. Future Cyclops delays the Brotherhood with a giant laserbeam. 

Kitty, Beast, Angel, Magik, Eva, Iceman and Christopher are all fighting Raze (who’s bringing the mindfuck) while being psychicly tortured by Xorna and CX. Young Jean, Emma Frost and Cyclops are trying to get over to the others without being tracked. 

Young Jean: “We should call for help.”

Emma Frost: “We would but everybody hates us.”

The Future Brotherhood’s heavy hitters infiltrate Young Jean’s psychic shield and Emma knocks her out. Cyclops is not pleased.

In the final panel we see Xavier confronting Young Jean, saying that he knows now that she’s the biggest threat and she’ll be dealt with first.

BotA is STILL wreaking havoc.Bendis is still killing me with his weird acing and cliffhangers. I love it. Stuart Immonen is a great artist. In the past some of the fight scenes have been convoluted, but this issue was amazing. Even with the shapeshifting villain it was easy to keep up with.

Almost Human: Episode 5

John gets startled by an MX’s lack of genitalia. Dorian assures him he was made more realistically

An RN and a “petite psychic” are testifying against a suspected murderer: Ethan Avery… as is Captain Maldonado. Fearing for the girls’ safety, Maldonado is present in the court room but the other two are testifying by hollogram from a safe house. While testifying the RN, Hayley Jolene, is suddenly startled, Maldonado realizes that the safe house has been compromised. She’s right. Hitmen bust in and splatter poor Hayley, our “petite psychic” jumps out a window and makes a run for it. They find a clue leading to Ethan Avery as the culprit.

Maldonado confronts him. He tries to get in her head. 

The psychic, Maya, says that she’s in communication with Hayley’s spirit. “Real Cop” Kennex doesn’t buy in. Turns out she had the Cerrebellex procedure a procedure that makes people more intuitive and sensitive to spiritual anomalies. Or something. But anyway she says that Hayley is speaking to her and that she says that Ethan Avery killed her.

But Ethan Avery was in jail.

But wait! Rudy shows up with some gadgets and plays a recording of the murder. The machine interprets that the sounds are made by vocal chords… not a recording. And that those vocal chords belong to Ethan Avery.

But how can this be?!

It’s 16 minutes in and I know how this ends. Clones.

Stahl thinks it’s an identical twin.*facepalm*

Then Stahl puts 2 and 2 together and remembers that the Doctor Fuller that Avery was on trial for killing was a reproductive doctor. And cloning is reproductive.

Maya flies the coop from the station to speak with Hayley’s parents.

While transporting Maya, Kennex, Dorian and Maya get shot up by masked men in a van. Maya gets shot. John takes down one of the hitmen. Sure enough: It’s Ethan Avery. Only 10 years younger.

Maya winds up with a broken collar bone and possible internal bleeding. Without her there is no one to connect Avery to Fuller. Dorian goes with Maya to the hospital and they have a heart to heart. She had the Cerrebellex procedure to reconnect with her parents who died right before her 19th birthday. But while she was recovering from the procedure her house burnt to the ground. Without anything of theirs to touch she was never able to reach them. 

Meanwhile Stahl goes to look for files at Fuller’s home. Records that Avery was one of his subjects/patients/lab rats. (Because she doesn’t know that Kennex already proved Avery had clones) And John figures out how Avery tracked Maya, but doesn’t communicate with Stahl in time. So the clones show up at Fuller’s house and take down her MX.

And now she is a hostage.

Stahl tells them to call Kennex. She says that he won’t negotiate, even for her. Stahl tries to convince the clones that the real Avery has been holding them hostage. Clone Avery thinks Stahl is special to Kennex and that he will negotiate.

Maldonado agrees to fork over Avery. 

But through elaborate and cool technological trickery they con the clones. Stahl also gets to flex her muscles. Dorian flips the van and the last of the clones go up in flames. Maldonado givens Ethan Avery and epic smackdown speech and then a sexy male lawyer gives her a compliment. Dorian gives Maya a box from evidence, from the investigation into the fire at Maya’s home. She touches a door knob and both smiles and cries and greets her parents at long last.

Earlier in the episode Maya gave Kennex advice about his angry red aura that repells everyone except one person and bourbon. Stahl walks in with a bottle of Bourbon from her desk, pours drinks for both of them and keeps him company.

Stahl and Kennex get a little bit closer!

Did Stahl really have to get held hostage the first time we see her out in the field alone? Especially since she “found the connection” but John had it proved already because he shot one down. So the brute stuff appears more effective than the brain stuff. Awesome… right…

Maldonado continues to be a bad ass. I like that even though Avery got under her skin it didn’t lead to some whirlwind of self-doubt. Maldonado proved herself effective, smart and willing to go the extra mile for those she considers friends and those who work for her.

Dorian gets to show how human he is. Not because of …ahem… physical features, but because he is caring and intuitive.

Dracula- Episode 2

We rejoin Alexander Grayson on his journey to eradicate the Order of the Dragon, fake invent things and woo Mina.

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Engaged in an underground battle with Van Helsing, Dracula, the man with many names gets pinned by a cross in his foot. Much credit to NBC and the awesome special effects. Van Helsing’s true love was burned at the stake by the order of the Dragon in the same way as Dracula’s true love. They team up and Dracula continues his feed.

Van Helsing and Dracula/Grayson, back in their timeline, Van Helsing is taking his vampire blood with needles and says that it is to cure his “aversion to sunlight”

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Lucy (played by the awesome Katie McGrath) flirts, and meets with Mina at a fencing match. Also attending is Lady Jayne and she’s discussing who to dispatch next against Grayson. Grayson meets with the owner of the British Imperial and says he is ending their business partnership. Not that Grayson is leaving, he strongly offers the man a chance to sell his own share.

Then he heads to the Inquisitor with Renfield. He’s nursing his crush on Mina, he says he won’t “take her” that he cannot and will not. But he still seeks to draw her in. He meets with Harker, Mina’s suitor. Grayson takes a trip with Harker where he thanks him for the tip that help secure his current share in British Imperial Coolant, but of course, he doesn’t have a controlling share yet.

He makes Harker vice president of public affairs. And gives him a mansion.

Mina is lamenting that she cannot keep up as Van Helsing’s protege, as a surgeon. After barely listening to her concern over academics, Harker tells her about the position Grayson offered him. Parker, ever the wide-eyed journalist did his research and found that Grayson did not exist more than seven years ago.

Back with the British Imperial Coolant/Order of the Dragon goons, they discuss how to thwart Grayson and his geo-thermal magnetism pitch.

Lady Jayne has dinner with Grayson, she asks him about how he did his “trick with the lightbulbs” which he insists is physics and science. Then they have a sexy romp, when he pretends she’s Mina (and the viewers see her in Mina’s form).

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Mina defies convention and takes a ride in Graysons carriage. Harker, faced with quitting the Inquisitor, insists Grayson has some fiendish agenda that Harker can’t put his finger on. Mina tells Grayson that she is studying to be a physician. She’s defying convention. She grew up with a doctor father and was always asked if she would be a nurse. She declined in favor of being a physician herself. She tells Grayson that she is worried about her exam. Grayson tells her that people may falter in their dreams, but the only way to fail is to abandon them. This was a much more charming response than that of her suitor. Not so charmingly, he follows her to her exam and hides in the shadows later. But she does fantastically.

The two Seers dispatched by Lady Jayne look in on Grayson, he senses them and breaks the focus in another one of those awesome effects involving wind and a bleeding mirror. Lady Jayne  surmises Grayson must be a very old vampire. Lady Jayne vows to track and kill him without seers… which since she’s sleeping with him is bizarre.

Harker, under duress of having his rent raised again accepts his job offer.

Grayson goes to a private “men’s club” and interrupts Lord Laurent, the man from British Imperial Coolant that he tried to buy out and Daniel Davenport sharing a moment. Grayson threatens to out the two of them and blackmails them with this knowledge, saying that the reputations of their whole families are at stake. (But he surely asserts that he’s no homophobe before hand. But he is willing to expose peoples sexual identity in order to publicly shame them… do I need to point out that second part voids the other?)

Harker is running his mouth to his friends from the Inquisitor about how he will make Mina a proper English wife and how marrying him will make her forget about being a physician. She walks in on his misogynist rant and runs out on him. He chases her and she dramatically tells him off. Awesome.

Elsewhere, Grayson gets hungry and takes a bite out of coat check girl Sinead, Lady Jayne nearly catches him in the act and seeing the punctured and bleeding girl… decapitates her.

Dracula edges closer to the source material this week with the enlistment of Harker to help Dracula be correct and presentable on the ways of society. I’m enjoying Mina being the doctor and student of Van Helsing’s, taking the premise from the book’s Jack Seward. It’s all very interesting and the effects are fantastic, the costumes are gorgeous.

There’s a ton going on. I’m not totally sure why Dracula is “bringing modern science” to victorian society and why the focus on destroying the Order of the Dragon is financial, and I’m not sure what’s up with Lady Jayne. But I’ll be watching, it’s certainly captivating. (that’s a little vampire hypnotism humor)

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Chew Vol. #6

Chew came recommended by Kiss My Wonder Woman who has an awesome blog that you should look at when you’re done looking at mine. Anyway, I had to start with volume 6… well, no that’s not true. They had other volumes that weren’t volume 1. But this one was called “Space Cakes” and I’m having a dystopian-future-outer-space thing happening over here right now. 

CHEW: Volume 6: Space Cakes

While Tony Chu – the cibopathic federal agent with the ability to get psychic impressions from what he eats – clings to life in a hospital ICU, his twin sister Toni steps up to take center stage. Toni is cibovoyant, able to see the future of anything she eats, and, lately, she’s seeing some pretty terrible things.

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I don’t even know how to review anything as weird as this. It was really enjoyable. Dear God was it original. And hilarious. 

So this was my first time ever reading CHEW and Toni is not usually the main character, her ability is also a bit different than her brother’s. If you also have no idea what’s going on here, she goes around biting people to see their future and has been known to lick psychotropic frogs, she’s a riot at parties and a NASA special agent.

A meeting with an old friend has her hunting down a gangster that runs an illegal chicken restaurant speakeasy that’s serving up psychotropic chicken/frogs or chogs or fricken, whichever you prefer. Oh yeah, no one can eat bird meats because of bird flu.

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Then somehow NASA agents team up with the FDA and USDA to find a vampire via a victuspeciosian (a beautician who can transform people temporarily using food products). There’s another chicken involved here also, a deadly bionic rooster that is a USDA agent.

I can’t really make this make sense so I’ll just say:

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You should check out CHEW

(Volume 6 collects issues #26-30, plus the blockbuster spin-off one-shot that stole America’s heart, Chew: Secret Agent Poyo)

Check out the comic so you can get excited that this thing is going to maybe possibly be a TV show!