Nightcrawler #1

I don’t much care about Nightcrawler. Never did. But… Chris Claremont. 

Chris Claremont has written huge X-Men storylines. The source material that inspired both The Wolverine and the upcoming Days of Future Past. He’s a ridiculously big deal in the comic book world. He co-created pretty much all my faves (most of the major players in Brian Woods “all girl” X-Men) Kitty Pryde, Psylocke, Rogue, Rachel Summers, Madelyne Pryor (not my fave, but she notably recently resurfaced as a villain), and Jubilee. 

So I figured I would overlook the fact that Nightcrawler is “not my favorite” (and I know Dr. Chris is going to come over here and tell me about the time Nightcrawler fought Dracula, and how he was better at it than Wolverine because Nightcrawler is a man of faith even though he’s a weird looking dude. I know. Still not my fave.) Nightcrawler is not a Claremont creation, he’s the brainchild of Dave Cockrum who conceived the blue teleporting mutant while he was on a Navy ship in Guam.

The start of the story really drew me in. The recently resurrected Nightcrawler is fighting Wolverine. Wolverine has recently lost his healing power and they’re testing out a new armor suit. Logan’s as fast as ever, Nightcrawler has trouble teleporting away, in fact. So Nightcrawler ramps up. And Wolverine busts out the claws. Without his healing factor this is especially painful and dangerous and Nightcrawler backs off, but Storm has to break up the fight. She then has a heart to heart with Nightcrawler about how things change and people have to decide what they are made of. Face who they are and deal with the consequences. 

Nightcrawler walks around the halls of the Jean Grey School, remembering how they lost Jean Grey and Thunderbird. And some X-kids and Professors wave “hello” (Quentin Quire, Cessily, a flirty? Rachel Grey …that might just be the art style).But then he goes to see Amanda and mini-Nightcrawler Bamfs. They are interrupted by an unknown assailant in a robot suit. Curiously, it becomes clear that he is after Amanda (who has magic powers, not mutant powers) the adorable Bamfs help save the day and Nightcrawler throws the attacker through a wall. And he vanishes. 

And Amanda decides that the creep might be after her fam. She declines calling in the X-Men and they go in pursuit at the close of the issue. 

Amanda = Magik II/Daytripper (not art from this comic)

Regardless of the fact that the second half of the book was a random mystery to me, I enjoyed this. It was very apparent that Claremont was nostalgically writing Wolverine and it was somewhat overpowering Nightcrawler. Which I was okay with. Write what you know, and all that. But the end of the issue takes Nightcrawler out of his (and my) X-Men comfort zone. 

Todd Nauck’s art is very crisp, the fight scenes were dramatic and easy to follow, the Bamfs were adorbz, all the ladies have big eyes, long lashes and pouty lips. It’s very playful and certainly added to the somewhat surreal vision that Nightcrawler is walking around with while he’s just getting back to his life.

I will be reading.

Uncanny X-Men #19.NOW

or Uncanny X-Men vs SHIELD #1

I was reading Uncanny X-Men during BotA and then I stopped when the crossover ended (although I kept up with All-New X-Men) but I decided that the new “jumping off point” was the perfect time to get back into it. Brian Michael Bendis writes stuff I want to read. That’s the long and short of it.

So those other X-men at the Charles Xavier school have been under attack by SHIELD designed Sentinels (this truth came out near the end of BotA when Xorna/Jean Grey forced SHIELD helicarriers to attack the X-Men and exposed this new weaponry) because of this Cyclops has become increasingly reclusive and paranoid. The face of the New Mutant Revolution is considered a terrorist by SHIELD and in the early pages we see Maria Hill trying to track down Cyclops, she confronts and interrogates Hijack. And Raven (who has been living as the disco diva) draining Disco Dazzler of her “mutant growth hormone”. It’s heavy.

Cyclops and Eva (who? I’m not sure) are monitoring cerebro for mutant activity when they see some that is… significant. They rush to be the first there. With a “To me, my X-Men” Cyclops, Magik, Emma Frost, the Cuckoos, Christopher, Eva, et al., rush to the scene.. but it was a trap and they are confronted with these new Sentinels. Emma and Magik make fun of each others shirts before they try to GTFO.

Which they can’t- their mutant powers are being disrupted. Luckily Magik’s sorcerer powers still work (she’s been studying with Dr. Strange lately) and Eva can still create a “time bubble” (and Emma Frost whispers a “you have to tell him” when Cyclops thanks her.. I have questions). The Sentinels run off.

And the X-Men are left in the middle of some serious destruction. People are pissed, people are scared,

And Cyclops declares war on SHIELD… and whoever else.

Jeez. BMB is just phenom. Let’s face it. And if there’s anything I like more that a hero rising it’s an ego maniac driving himself into a paranoid frenzy. Oooh, and I love Magik, I was hoping she’d hang out with KP’s team (they’re in space with the Guardians of the Galaxy right now) but this works for me.

But I have questions:

I’ll link some reviews in hopes they’ll come over and explain.

xmenxpert reviews this week’s Uncanny X-Men and X-Men #12 -and I agree, Magik is her own book worthy… I mean seriously, LongShot (who?) has a book… Wolverine has 3. STAHP

healed1337 also liked this month’s Uncanny X-Men over X-Men #12.

Hi guys, hope that got your attention: Who the heck is Eva and where did Rogue go anyway?

All-New X-Men #23

In which everyone’s favorite Omega-Level Ginger has an intergalactic existential crisis. 

Jean Grey is one of the most important X-Men characters. IGN voted her #13 in Top 100 Superheros. She’s brought back from the dead a few times, plotlines of decades worth of books and many of the films have revolved around other character’s relationships with her. She’s been Marvel Girl, the Phoenix and the Dark Phoenix- which of course is when she went “planet eater” and genocidal. She’s was copied. She was cloned. Her child from an alternate timeline came to Earth. And recently she was brought back from the past in her younger form where she faced her future self (who appeared as Xorna) from an alternate timeline.

But even with all this revolving around her… she’s just one being… and in the scheme of the universe… How important is Jean Grey? 

To the Shi’ar she is very important. But they don’t care about her relationships, they don’t care what a special snowflake she is. They only care about one thing: that she murdered a planet. Anything else that she accomplishes is overshadowed by the acts committed by the Dark Phoenix.

The Shi’ar want her to answer for her crimes. 

But it’s complicated: technically she hasn’t committed them. She’s aware of what will happen. If she goes back to her time, Xavier will wipe her mind and it will all re-happen. 

So, I’m wondering what the Shi’ar’s plan is here.

Option 1: 

Kill her.

The Shi’ar would introduce a whole new timeline where she did not become the Dark Phoenix, but no one can really be sure what would happen. That seems unreliable. And, right now the time space continuum is so disrupted that the timeline is permanently altered and Jeannie and co. are still in the future without it having any repercussions. Well… yet, anyway. But they are tampering with things with no guarantee. 

Option 2:

Imprison her? Same deal for the Shi’ar above but with the added heat of X-Men raining fury on them for taking one of their own.

Is there an Option 3? What is the End Game here?

This issue doesn’t provide much info in that aspect. What we get is Scott Summers waking up on the Guardians of the Galaxy’s ship after having a dream where he confessed his love to Jean (even though he’s recently been getting closer to X-23, I wouldn’t mind if Young Cyclops and Wolverine’s genetic clone went the “friends forever” route). Even to a groups of mutants who, collectively, can pass through walls, shoot lasers from their eyes, are made of ice, can fly, pass through walls and heal a bullet wound in a moments notice- a talking Racoon, 2 murder girls, a (sort of) talking tree + more are still really weird. 

Jean Grey is imprisoned in a Bubble by Kallark (Gladiator), her telekinesis and telepathy doesn’t work there. This version of Jean Grey has this out of control Sookie Stackhouse thing happening and she relies heavily on reading the thoughts of others. Not being able to causes her to bug out. And they drop her into… the ocean? still in her containment bubble.

Professor Kitty Pryde blames herself for not seeing this coming. which is a duality. I don’t think she should have seen it coming, but she shouldn’t have been confused about WHY the Shi’ar showed up in Part 1. While they debate X-Men saying repeatedly that Jeannie didn’t actually DO it… and Rocket reminding them, “Yet.” Then the Shi’ar attack their ship. Angela wants to board the ship and take them down, Groot goes along as back-up. 

Jean Grey meets with Oracle who explains what’s happening here. She’s under arrest and getting ready to be brought before tribunal. Oracle sees that she has no first hand knowledge of being the Phoenix (How would she? She hasn’t been the Phoenix?) somehow she’s perplexed by this. Jean lashes out and acts threateningly towards Oracle. And… she goes back in the bubble.

After being struck by the Shi’ar, the Guardians’ ship is on fire. Gamora and X-23 make friends. Rocket says he’s going to propose to Angela. Gamora starts to head out. Suddenly, there’s another ship! They get blasted with purple lasers and it’s revealed that the pilot of THAT ship is… Summers. No, not that Summers, Major Christopher Summers, USAF.  

There are things Immonen does very well, which corresponds heavily with what Bendis does well. Bendis writes great characters, great reactions. Immonen draws great expressions and great body language. On these pages we see an off his game and defeated Scott Summers hunched over, sullen and it correspond to the voice we should hear perfectly.. Jean is questioned by another “minder” (telepath) and we see her demeanor change for outraged to regretful. But for me these fight scenes are disjointed, weird lighting and coloring obscures what’s happening to who. 

Speaking of “What is happening?!” Christopher Summers firstly is Scott’s father, the alias Corsair was supposedly dead (at the hands of his son Vulcan, who was not raised on earth and slaughtered Shi’ar’s after being incubated and sold into slavery). So… what is going on here? He’s also the leader of Starjammers, who pillage and pirate Shi’ar ships.

“I hate space” I’ve had very bad luck in space!” -KP

One of my favorites, Greg Rucka, is writer of the (SOME SPOILERS LIVE HERE–>) upcoming Cyclops series that spins off the events in Trial of Jean Grey. Honestly, the spoilers keep me more confused about what will happen to Jean Grey.

All-New X-Men 22.NOW

or The Trial of Jean Grey #1:

After an anticlimactic previous issue this story arc *promises* to be much more. And will also con me into reading Guardians of the Galaxy… ergh CROSSOVERS.

The original X-Men +KP +X-23 are back at the New Xavier School. X-23 is working on her combat skills, Beast is doing some heavy duty theoretical mathematics, Iceman’s making snow angels… and Angel’s just trying to eat a burger when Jean Grey comes and starts a shouting match with Scott (who’s mind she’s reading without permission… again. And she keeps doing it. But in all fairness, he’s not really giving her a chance and is judging her for being herself after all the incredibly weird shit she’s been through, including; knowing how she dies, seeing her future self has joined the Brotherhood, watching her future self die, knowing Scott ends up with Emma Frost etc.) While she gets in touch she freaks out and levitates Angel’s burger. Control is not what she is in. 

For the record: Iceman and Angel would totally eat these. 

Outside: some explosions from the sky, Bobby tries to build an ice wall but there’s Shi’ar, in fact. The Shi’ar have been mingling with the X-Men since 1977! They are an alien humanoid/avian race that has hyper-advanced technology. Their homeworld was put in SERIOUS peril by Jean Grey during her the Phoenix heyday and they killed her family in case the Phoenix was attracted to her genetics… yeah: They figured out she’s back in some version. 

X-Men rush into action to protect the school. Kitty tries to disable their tech while X-23 gets wicked pissed. Jean Grey tries to throw off their attacks using telekinesis and everyone goes full force… to no avail. They get trapped in bubbles. Bobby tries last minute heroics, but they take Jean Grey. 

But then… it looks as if the Shi’ar are coming back… but they aren’t… it was the Guardians. It was actually pretty damn funny. But as a whole this issue didn’t do it for me. It’s definitely the art. Stuart Immonen: I cannot understand what was happening in those fight sequences. Maybe it was BMB’s fault, he seems great at writing dialogue and angst… but not much else. I know that it was just the set up but if you want me interested in a 6 issue crossover with a book I don’t read and a team I don’t care about (I don’t bandwagon jump because there’s a movie, kids) you’re going to have to give me more… Bobby’s action hero antics were awesome but they couldn’t carry the issue.

X-Men #8

X-Men #8

The eighth issue of “Brian Wood’s X-Men”/”The All-Girl X-Men” keeps it low on the Y chromosomes with All-Girl enemies! Post- BoTA the in-fighting hits a low for this team as they unite to stop Lady Deathstrike!

(My HBD tweet from Brian Wood, so huge.)

An intruder alert goes off at the Jean Grey School, the first to respond is Psylocke. It’s Typhoid Mary. She’s grabbed all the medical info on Karima, Shogo and Arkea. 

Mary escapes but Psylocke is on her trail (after getting dressed in the yard, much to Quentin Quire’s pervy amusement). Rachel (who sleeps in her full X-Men uniform) calls John Sublime to tell him the bad news. Except he’s already at the Cortes Compound, home of the new incarnation of Lady Deathstrike. 

Ms. Cortes, ahem… Yuriko is excited about the prospect of injecting Arkea. Treating alien bacteria hellbent on taking over the world/his sister as a body modification just not amuse John Sublime. 

But he believes that the X-Men will stop her (after all, they have stopped him and Arkea before).

Typhoid Mary shows up, believing she’s lost her tail. She’s psyched to learn that the Arkea live sample is a contagion. Lady Deathstrike cracks open the biohazard bag. John Sublime struggles to get the sample from her. When he does, he finds that the sample is inert. He shows off his big brain, telling the villainesses how he would find other samples that could potentially be alive. But he says he won’t. And they can’t kill him because they need the information! Ha ha ha, John Sublime will have the last laugh.

Or not. Typhoid Mary scrambles his brains and gets the info. She takes off with Lady Deathstrike and leaves John drooling on the carpet. Betsy steps in, scoops John up off the floor and they head back to the Jean Grey School. 

The bad girls land in Norway. Enchantress fights them with a stick and gives Typhoid Mary a thrashing. Enchantress has been stuck there 2 months. Thor exiled her and stripped her of her powers. Enchantress saw the meteorite strike nearby, Lady Deathstrike says that if she shows her the meteor that she can make Enchantress more powerful than Odin himself. 

Bling! and Jubilee are having their Degrassi Junior High moment. Bling! points out the hypocrisy of the “inclusive” X-Men before planting a kiss on a somehow surprised Jubilee. 

But Monet struts by and tells Jubilee that they’ve got a mission.

 

…That’s not from this issue, it’s a #throwbackthursday to their Generation X days. 

The THREE villainesses find the meteorite and make a pact, a sisterhood, to stand against the X-Men!

This issue was really enjoyable. A ton going on. Jubes is getting all the afterschool special plotlines… isn’t she a vampire?! Jubes, do vampire stuff! On the art front: I’m enjoying Terry Dodson’s take on the girls and since he and Wood go back with Monet, Jubilee and the crew to Generation X I have high hopes for the rest of this story arc!

+ You know we’ve discussed KP Vampire Slayer before- Including how the now Professor K was the inspiration for Buffy Summers. But did you know:

Circa 2000- Monet St. Croix faces off against Vampire DeLaCorte …completely unrelated to Jubilee being covered in vampire blood in a terrorist attack/being bitten by Xarus, son of Dracula in 2010.

interestingly enough Dodson drew this comic up to this issue and Wood started writing the one right after. 

All-New X-Men #19

I’m still subscribed to a few more than I bargained for X-Men books… But at least in this one, Kitty Pryde gets some respect. 

The Original X-Men are still around and have now defected, along with Professor K to Cyclops’s Charles Xavier school, which is housed in the former Weapon X facility. 

In the streets of Miami, a woman is confronted by a group of armed mercenaries who tell her “Mutant is the abomination of the Devil.” and “God doesn’t want Mutants.” Which, of course, are rip offs of derogatory slogans used currently to oppress LGBT people by WBC and the like. There are huge issues with using real oppression to sensationalize fictional oppressed groups, among these issues, the fact that mutants are actually dangerous. 

The woman screams “I am not a mutant!” and then all the armed men explode.

This is exactly the plot of last week’s Agents of SHIELD actually. Way to recycle, Marvel.

Oh wait, but she didn’t make them explode, it was Kitty Pryde, Magik, Young Jean GreyBeastIcemanAngel+Cyclops.  

The mercenaries think they speak for God and are REALLY excited about the prospect of killing Scott Summers. They also take particular offense to Angel. To defend her team, Jeannie shiows her strength. 

The girl escapes the melee and makes a run for it, however she is followed but one of the cult/mercenaries/wackos and she still insists that she is not a mutant. Kitty finds her, saves her and… recognizes her. The girl’s name is Laura. She does not, however, recognize KP and makes a break for it AGAIN. 

While Scott pummels a man for intel, Jeannie reads his thoughts. These men truly believe that Jean Grey is the Devil. (BTW… Dynamite has the lockdown on THE redhaired She-Devil) 

Scott Summers attempts to give the police a statement. Not realizing STILL how much people hate mutants. Remember why the future Brotherhood came back and tried to force them in the time cube? No?

Kitty tackles Laura and they engage in a chick fight while officers think it’s just some bar brawl spilled onto the streets. Kitty Pryde tries to talk her way out of it, too; “I’m an associate of Captain America, not to name drop. Then she tackles Laura through a building and having her captive, Laura lashes out with some adamantium claws.

Laura is, Laura Kinney, X-23: Last seen facing off with Hazmat in Avengers Arena. She’s a clone made from Wolverine’s genetic sample in which the Y chromosome was damaged.

I wasn’t thrilled by this issue. The best part was Angel facing off with the Purifiers. I like the idea of X-23 joining forces with KP and Illyana, so we will see how that goes. Next Issue:

 

All New X-Men #18

I got sucked in after the crossover. I’m following Kitty Pryde. My fave X-Men book is next week, but I figured I’d see what the basis for Buffy was up to.

Nostaligia or newsflash from the past:

 

 

Kitty Vampire Slayer, Mutant X #13

Anyway, they head to the new Xavier School, in the location of the Weapon-X facility that they have re-appropriated. Of course, the original X-Men have not yet heard of Weapon X. Eva Bell shows Bobby to his room where he starts having a crisis thinking about what he’ll become (and Ice Wizard AND an Ice Hulk), or if now he won’t become that because he knows too much. As he’s baring his soul, Eva walks out. 

Jeannie and the Cuckoos don’t get along (makes sense since momma Emma Frost and the grown-up Jean were rivals). Phoebe Cuckoo debates a Ginger ‘do. 

Jeannie runs off to find Beast and complain but Beast is getting his passive aggressive on. They shared a kiss and then she ran off with Scott Summers (they stole a motorcycle and ran for their lives so they didn’t have to go back in time). She says she had to leave, that the Beast and Jean from the future were bad guys and they had to go (she started a brawl by hijacking Wolverine), she was right, of course. But Beast isn’t mad that she left, he’s mad she left with him. Jeannie starts losing her cool (do men do anything but fight over her?) until they are interrupted by Cyclops and summoned outside by Professor K.

No one shows up and Kitty send Cyclops off. The interactions between Kitty and Illyana are the best part. They’re so glad to be friends again.

41 hours later they get their team meeting. And new outfits. While Kitty is telling them all to train so they can make a better tomorrow… Jeannie is reading the minds of her male suitors. -they both decide to move on from her. And she freaks and starts levitating herself… which she has never done before. Angel swoops in and scoops her up… much to the dismay of Cyclops and Beast. 

Then, finally we step out of Dawson’s Creek when the portable cerebro device that Beast linked to the one Magneto built goes off. Big trouble in Florida.

Honestly wasn’t loving this issue. I was digging Kitty and Illyana, but frankly, too many crushes all centered around Jean and her acting holier than thou to the Cuckoos. Yeah, yeah, Jean, you’re so great and powerful. Also the cover is ludicrously misleading. 

 

That did not happen! What happened here was a superpowered episode of One Tree Hill!!!

Movie Review #13- Dredd (2012)

Look at this cover:

Bet you can’t tell that this movie is jam packed with feminist awesomesauce.

(and decently nuanced social commentary)

Plot Synopsis

The future America is an irradiated wasteland. On its East Coast, running from Boston to Washington DC, lies Mega City One – a vast, violent metropolis where criminals rule the chaotic streets. The only force of order lies with the urban cops called “Judges” who possess the combined powers of judge, jury and instant executioner. Known and feared throughout the city, Dredd (Karl Urban) is the ultimate Judge, challenged with ridding the city of its latest scourge – a dangerous drug epidemic that has users of “Slo-Mo” experiencing reality at a fraction of its normal speed. 

During a routine day on the job, Dredd is assigned to train and evaluate Cassandra Anderson, played by Olivia Thirlby, a rookie with powerful psychic abilities thanks to a genetic mutation. She’s repeatedly failed the exam to be a judge after being taken in by the justice system (which is what happens to all orphans).

A heinous, gory and special effects laden crime calls Dredd, played by Karl Urban (action hero extraordinaire 10 times over in Riddick, Doom, Star Trek, Xena: Warrior Princess and the upcoming Almost Human), and his fledgling to a neighborhood where fellow Judges rarely dare to venture – a 200 story vertical slum, Peach-Trees, controlled by prostitute turned drug lord Ma-Ma, played by the awesome Lena Headey (of the Sarah Connor Chronicles, 300, Game of Thrones and recently, a box office flop that I enjoyed Mortal Instruments), and her clan. When they capture one of the clan’s inner circle, Ma-Ma overtakes the compound’s control center and declares a bounty on the pair of judges. All of the Peach-Trees residents are locked in and hostage until Ma-Ma gets what she wants; two dead judges.

Now Ma-Ma doesn’t care which residents live or die as long as she gets what she wants. Which is simple: to not get busted. Anderson (the fledgling) grew up in a slum and is trying to reduce the casualties to the good people that unfortunately live in this shit hole, and Dredd wants to dispense justice. Dredd doesn’t care that the people could starve there for their non-compliance with Ma-Ma, he’s the law and they should abide by the law, unconditionally.

Anderson is trying to behave like a Judge. For those who attempt to kill a Judge the sentence is death. She uses her mutant psychic powers to barge into the apartment of a woman who tells the pair the location of a secret elevator so that they will get the hell off her floor and away from her family.

“Don’t thank me, I just don’t want to see you again.”

Anderson plays a game with their captive: My fucked up head versus your fucked up head, that makes the hardened criminal pee his pants.

Ambushed by a couple of kids. Their criminal gets the upper hand on Anderson and brings her to Ma-Ma.

Intent on making it look like a bust gone wrong, and one not involving them, Ma-Ma instructs: “No torture, no raping no skinning, just a bunch of bullets to the head and to the chest. Do you understand me?”

But they still don’t have Dredd. Amidst escalating violence they clan decides to call… 911. Other Judges show up to take Ma-Ma’s money and take on Dredd and Anderson. Bloodshed, broken necks, outlandish explosives and stapling together bullet wounds together ensue.

It was gritty, visually amazing, fun and frankly, pretty damn clever.

Dredd enforces the law as it’s written, something Anderson hasn’t proved she can comply with (which, given the absolute assurance of violence, isn’t such a bad thing) but the other Judges can be bought and sold. Something our main protags could never comply with.

The females in this story: Ma-Ma and Anderson, have their own sense of justice, separate from that of the government which has failed them both (and is failing all of Mega City One). Anderson wants to become a Judge, even though it’s clear from the beginning that the justice system has failed her both as a mutant and an orphan, how far is she willing to go? Is she willing to negate her sense of justice to distribute “justice”?

Ironically named Ma-Ma there’s not a shred of sympathy or softness towards those who stand in her way. But how else is she supposed to make money in this wasteland? Out of reasonable options, her reactions may be extreme, but it beats starving to death. Besides, Was Slo-Mo really hurting anyone? She turns their war on drugs turns into a real war. While I find it hard to sympathize… she’s undeniably badass.

5 Stars!

If you are reading this today: Give it a watch, stream it, buy it, whatever and then take to the twitter and tell everybody that you want a Dredd2