Dracula- Episode 1

Ohh Lucy (Katie McGrath, “Merlin”) and Mina (Jessica de Gouw, “Arrow”) I read the book and I know you’re in for trouble ūüėČ

Jonathan Rhys Meyers, from “the Tudors”, Match Point¬†and¬†Mortal Instruments,¬†first appears as Dracula following a gory and very old cinema resurrection scene. It was great, And then the creature of the night invents light.. the light bulb, actually. Employing tech dismissed by Edison and Tesla? …yeah, he’s a fraud. No vamp magic, just a trick. But he’s got it bad for Mina (as per usual).

Renfield (an actual slave, a “vampire servant”) is the only black person on the show.¬†

Professor Van Helsing and Blonde Lady are hunting down Dracula “Oh how many years since we’ve seen a real vamp in these streets?” And the answer is “Jack the Ripper” (oh so, Jack the Ripper wasn’t a maniac HUMAN BEING attacking sexworkers and striking fear into women because he was a nutbag… he was a vamp… oh, cool. Thanks for the history lesson.)

Mina is smart and studious BUT not physically skilled enough to perform surgery. (My eyes roll hard). She has night terrors about Dracula (as the socialite- in the past)

A hot Dracula is a Dracula lurking outside of college dorms. I can’t say I’m on board. At least there is decent gore as he has a snack.

So he’s a visionary delusional egomaniac? Oh man. I haven’t seen anything like that lately (the eyes roll, mother fuckers)

Jonathan Rhys Meyers is sexy beyond sexy and the scenes are hot… and fake as shit and women are based off of professional women wearing costumes that women now a days fancy pin-ups to be… but really were too revealing for prostitutes back then… anyway. It looks good. It’s actually pretty tasty… but over all, I don’t get the point …and JRM has a terrible American accent.


I mean, but have you seen him? He’s delicious.

And he’s probably unbalanced and has a drinking problem… but I only have a glass house to throw my stones out of.. so.. I digress.¬†

This review was rather scathing and I think I should add that most of it looked effing amazing. And I will be watching. I just don’t understand why this time period was chosen and what not.

I’ll even rate it… errrrrrrrrrrrrrr… 3.5!