Hemlock Grove: Season 2 *SPOILERS*

I did a video review for this

it’s posted on the youtube page for the radio show I co-host, Radio Of Horror. Watch it, subscribe (there’s clips from our show, video reviews for films and interviews that won’t usually be cross posted here) and you can give us a “like” on the facebook.

But there was a few thing I wanted to elaborate on a little more. That’s why you’re here right.
one major gripe I had was that the didn’t show the threesome

And as discussed in the video, this is NOT family entertainment. In general, there’s several murders, gore, plenty of sex. Hell, there is rape. Roman rapes someone and then erases her memory in season one. Through out the series they really play up this “bromance’ between Roman and Peter (I don’t like to read it that way, it makes sense that they get along since really no one would understand them) but when Miranda falls for the both of them and initiates a threeway… …there’s a blank space between when Roman follows Miranda and Peter upstairs that lasts until they are fully clothed the next day having coffee.
Oh fuck you, Netflix.

You think it’s okay to show a teenager being raped but not consensual polyamorous sex?
Fuck you. Fucking rape culture at it’s finest.
And a prime example of sexism. On two counts.
ONE) that we were shown a young woman being victimized, but an adult woman taking charge and insisting on what she want sexually (two hot men that she has romantic affection for as well as physical attraction to) results in something that is considered too taboo for it’s audience.
TWO) the friendship between the two creeps, the alternated jealousy and tenderness they have for eachother falls into the bromance trope. but sweet jesus forbid that we see that their male parts go anywhere near each other. Why play around like that then? We saw Clementine getting out of bed with a woman in season one, so homosexual relationships have been (vaguely) shown. But two men? better not. It would destroy the “manliness” or someshit. fuck that.

On the GIRL POWER
Destiny Rumancek plays a much larger role this season. She immediately gets involved with helping Peter get Lynda out of jail and is no longer hanging around just to weave some mystical shit and lead the MCs in the right direction. She has her own agenda, goals and relationships even if they are not central to the plot. Without her to use her psychic powers and kick some ass they’d have been screwed. Destiny is played by Mohawk actress Kaniehtiio Horn. She gets to shove a dagger in someone’s balls. She looks out for Peter. She hooked up with a (probably) hitman. It’s good.

Shelley also gets a more central role. Before she was sort of an accessory. She caused Olivia discomfort. She made Roman seem more likeable and human, he treated her with kindness and she brought out that goodness and light in an otherwise creepy and psychopathic character. This season she was really out on her own, she made friends on her own, she made decisions for herself (although she was somewhat betrayed by those around her while making them). She has a sweetness and understanding that remains uncorrupted despite the horrible conniving people around her, but it’s not (all) out of naivete, she understands why her mother is the way she is and accepts that.

Olivia gets some depth. Instead of the bored icequeen she becomes more empathetic. Famke Janssen delivers Olivia’s lines impeccably. While she is being treated after her near death she begins to become more human. And she fucking hates it. But then it becomes who she is. She decides to cause less suffering. She decides to do the maternal thing and save Shelley instead of herself. She wants to be good, but when Norman and Roman don’t forgive her previous misdeeds she quickly reverts to a baby snatching crazy lady. But hey, that’s self preservation. You don’t live centuries without that drive.

Why is “gypsy” a slur?
Ok, because I have heard “I don’t understand how ‘gypsy’ is racist” a few times. Usually followed by “how come no one is mad about it then?”

“Gypsy” is an ethnic slur towards the Romani people. They have been discriminated against since the 1500s. They were banned from England because Romani were seen as godless/devilish accused of witchcraft and they were evicted. 1700s saw the Romani hung without trial, mutilated by branding or having their ears cut off to identify Romani in Austria and the surrounding areas. They were murdered en masse, including children. They were slaves in Romania until 1856. In WWII, the Nazi regime saw them on par as enemies to the Aryan race along with Jewish people and blacks. The number of Romani wiped out is unclear because of different branches and lack of record keeping but is somewhere about half a million and below a million and a half Romani. In 1997, some Romani immigrated to Canada (legally, as refugees) and there was protest from neo-nazis. As recently as 2007 Romani children were forcibly segregated in Slovakian schools.
We’re talking about people who have been mistreated, profiled, discriminated against, victimized, denied education, maimed and killed because of their heritage.
And the word “Gypsy” is connected to the word “gypped” -meaning robbed, ripped off, screwed, fucked over. But really it’s the Romani who have been fucked over. so remember that next time you’re packing for vacation and hashtag your photo #gypsylife.
really? that’s not “Gypsy life” in the least.
So now you know.

Fantastic Female Friday: Lily Munster

Lily (Dracula) Munster, Countess of Shroudshire, is the matriarch of the Munster family. Unlike many of her 1960’s TV contemporaries; Lucy Ricardo, Samantha from Bewitched and I Dream of Jeannie; Lily was more likely to be playing responsible adult while the antics of her husband, Herman, got them embroiled in zany schemes.

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While technically Lily Munster is a “sandwich maker”

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The outspoken Lily is very protective of her family -even defending the house with cannons after Grandpa accidentally sells it to a demolition crew intent on turning their haunted mansion into a parking lot. She never forgot where she came from, doing charity work collecting donations for her home country of Transylvania. The (usually) Stay at Home Mom is very involved in the lives of her son, Eddie, and her “hideous” niece, Marilyn.

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Sultry and always confident, Lily tells Marilyn of the importance of being self assured and ambitious. While Lily usually ruled the roost at 1313 Mockingbird Lane she also had several jobs during the series: a welder, a palm reader, a model, she even notably opened a salon with Marilyn which went under after she gave everyone monster makeovers. Like I said, the uberconfident Lily sees herself as the ideal of beauty, who wouldn’t want to look like this:

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When neighbors or fellow country club members behave rudely towards the Munsters she takes offense but she never wavers in her belief that it’s their problem and not hers. She’s always eager to socialize and is polite even if she doesn’t understand their taste in fashion. While the other Munsters take it more personally when people don’t like them she assumes that it’s their problem and they are snobs. She’ll do anything to spare her sensitive husband from criticism from rude people. Don’t knock housewives, and never mind that on top of wrangling a coming of age woman, a young boy, a stuck in his ways father and an accident prone husband she also has a science lab in her basement and a monster under her stairs.

She’s the daughter of Sam Dracula, married to a Frankenstein’s monster, sister and mother of a werewolf.. I’m not entirely sure how genetics work on this show… Funfact: Lily’s claims dress is lined with pure unborn centipede.

Here’s Yvonne De Carlo as Lily singing “Look Away”

Review! IN THE DARK a Horror Anthology

Drawn from a wide range of inspirations, stories reminiscent of childhood campfire tales, or Lovecraft-esque, or teenage action influenced and featuring creepy kids, self-sacrifice, monster hunters, petty revenge or something more existential, good people going bad, and bad kids going good from the tampering of horrific entities. What if the reason that jerk always checks his phone so much is that he needs to know when he’s going to change into a horrific beast? Nothing is as it seems here IN THE DARK.

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Among my faves:

The Michael Moreci and Steve Seeley penned story Guilloteens a punk rock Buffy homage with a Scooby gang monsterhunters and on one night they find a house being used by were-wizards for nefarious reasons. Were-wizards. So cool. Cute characters and extra blood spatters made awesome by artist Christian Wildgoose.

All Things Through Me by Mike Oliveri, artist Mike Henderson follows the son of a fallen priest who can communicate with the dead and has a knack for possession on a house call in a small town and stumbles on something local law enforcement would rather he hadn’t.

When the Rain Comes by Steve Niles is a creepfest about repercussions of fearing what you don’t understand. Damien Worm’s super creepy art is killer here, cloudy scratches, scribbled silhouettes capture the essence of the mysterious creatures that come forth to a farmhouse after a flood.

The Body by Tim Seeley, art by Stephen Green, mixes urban violence with a supernatural avenger.

Final Meal by Christopher Sebela and Zack Soto makes me glad to be vegan after reading this eerie tale about feeling like a God on the top of the food chain following a sad character who can’t get enough of sucking life from between his teeth.

The One That Got Away, written by Scott Snyder (who, y’know, writes both metropolis and Gotham’s heroic dudes) plays off our expectations when a young boy is approached by a knife wielding character.

Brian Keene’s The Lost Valley of the Dead is set in a wild West zombie plague. Tadd Galusha brings it with well drawn zombie animals sporting dripping fangs and exposed ribs. In trying to escape the disease they find a hidden entrance to a world of dinosaurs ..things get even crazier when the T-Rex ingests the zombie coyotes. Zombie freaking dinosaurs.

Swan Song by Rachel Deering takes a break from the plethora of werewolves and features a gorgeous vampire and the dashing would be hero who unknowingly unleashes a monster.

Extra treats- faux vintage ads and page 185’s horror trivia crossword! I’m thinking about sending $3.25 to get my “Creature in a Crate”.

Whether you like your villains internal, supernatural or humanly homicidal and your main characters twisted, teenaged, tragic or triumphant and your settings futuristic, realistic or rustic IN THE DARK has something for you. If you didn’t get in on the ground floor for this one order one from your local comic shop, IDW is printing and shipping this rad compilation soon.

Under The Dome: Episode #3

“Small town kiddo, It’s only gonna get smaller.” -Rose

The show starts with me yelling, “Joe! Find your sister! Junior has her in a hole. I know in your world it’s been 2 days and not 3 weeks, like it has for me, but really! But really.” But he doesn’t he just make googoo eyes at Nori.

Things are getting tense. People are losing faith in Chester’s Mill PD. Paul (the officer who’s losing it and shot the dome, killing someone with the ricochet) traps Linda in a cell. Then she tells off Big Jim, hooray! Oh, Big Jim is apparently a hard ass who made his son play football. I still don’t feel bad for you, Junior. Asshole! Junior tells Angie: “It’s the dome that’s making you act like this.” She says: “It’s you locking me down here for 2 days.” But then she reminds him of some secret underground tunnels. Maybe they can go together. Outside of the bunker. She’s clever. 

Barbie’s evading Julia’s questions. Big shock.

Nori’s mom tells off some rednecks. Rednecks won’t stop being ignorant asswipes. Barbie is not amused. Barbie joins Big Jim’s man hunt for Paul while Julia follows Junior underground. Nori’s over at Joe’s making up stories. Don’t lie about your moms! Joe’s no redneck jerk.

The dome goes all the way through the tunnels. Junior finds out Julia followed him. The manhunt gets messy. Joe’s sidekick invites over a bunch of hotties to charge their smartphones. Julia has a heart to heart  cuckoo-bananas. How can you tell him the truth and not Barbie! You are a bad judge of character! If you believe Barbie is a psychopath…. ARGH! No one feels bad for you Junior! 

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Then Big Jim and Barbie have a heart to heart WTF Big Jim tells us how he got his nickname (blah blah, high school football hero… ZzzzZzz) and Barbie says, “Sounds like being on your team could be hazardous to my health.”

Linda gets her man. She’s already lost 3 fellow officers. 

Junior doesn’t drink his milk. OoooOoohh

Nori tells Joe, “Thanks for almost getting beat up for me that was kind of chivalrous.”

Then Nori and Joe have freaky “pink stars” seizures.

Angie patches up Junior’s hand (which he bruised on the dome “because he loves Angie so much”) Angie hides the scissors. I can’t wait till Angie stabs Junior with those scissors!!

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No where near enough of the WYBS DJs! Damnn youuuu