Male Objectification Monday: Michael Ealy

Best known for his roles in Barbershop and Seven Pounds, Michael Ealy came to my attention in the STILL NOT OFFICIALLY RENEWED SERIES “ALMOST HUMAN”… sorry for the caps, I’m panicking a little bit. He also had recurring roles on “The Good Wife” and “Californication” 

But, like I said, he caught my eye as the “disco-faced” sometimes unstable DRN police robot, Dorian.



Although the plot revolved largely around Karl Urban’s character, John Kennex, Dorian added much needed humor -usually at John’s expense. He also had some deep plotlines himself, compassion for other DRN models, increasing aggravation that he’s the only DRN in the field and can’t relate to MXs, evolving to be a better police officer, a better partner..

But we aren’t here to talk about what a great character Dorian is, or what Michael Ealy added to the role (great delivery, sometimes a musical interlude, acting like a robot that acts like a human)… we’re here to look at Michael Ealy:



And just for good measure, suited up:



Ealy is appearing next in Think Like A Man, Too and then hopefully reprising his role as Dorian! Because I neeed him on my TV screen. 

Funfact: He also played a detective in 2012’s Underworld:Awakening



And I don’t know why exactly, but this picture is so cute


Almost Human- Episode 13

The episode begins with a woman at a homeless shelter being harassed by a man, a seemingly nice guy in a wheelchair comes to her defense and offers to help her out, he pricks her hand, drugging her.. then he pulls a Lucky Number Slevin and stands up out of the wheelchair and put the victim in it. Nothing looks amiss as they continue up the street. The next day they find her dead and stuffed with straw and stitched back up.

It’s identical to a case that Kennex’s father worked shortly before his death. And I was baffled because the plot was about how Kennex’s father was framed, threatened by dirty cops, thought he put the wrong man away for the Straw Man killings and we didn’t get back to Anna, Syndicate, his crush on Stahl or anything.

It goes on and Kennex gets to clear his father’s name, Michael Ealy sings Lionel Richie (actor says it was improv BTW) And successfully made it through his first review the conclusion being that this DRN is fit for duty.

Which lead FOX to tweet this:


Which… what does that mean? Is the show renewed?! Quit messing with me!

Anyway, in a major plot twist, it is found that the dead bodies are not dead bodies and that they are 3D printed with bio-organic engineered skin and such. There was some interesting technological/futuristic implications -such as the homeless getting blood analyzed and receiving vitamins specific to their missing nutrients- but this one felt more like a traditional cop show than a lot of the episodes. They touched on the class struggle, homeless youth being the target of this person, a man who took the fall for the crime being easily convicted because of a history of mental illness. It was fairly well done, and I was glad to see the poor depicted less Fight Club/Mad Max destructive.

Quotes; Rudy trying to say something nice about Dorian for his review “If I had a child, I would want Dorian to raise it instead of me” or Kennex: “He flipped a van once. That was cool. I didn’t know he could do that” And later, messing with him, “I told them you have no concept of privacy. You scanned my balls, you exposed yourself..” And Dorians reply “I apologized for scanning your balls.” And then as a gift to his partner, Dorian buys John a gift. Kennex: “I wonder what it is.” Dorian: “It’s a leg!”

Baha, and it totally concluded at that place where Deckard ate noodles.


FOX had better not let me down. For some reason it was acceptable for them to let X-Files run itself into the ground, but any other sci-fi show is beyond doomed. Don’t let this be the last case for Kennex and Dorian!

Almost Human- Episode 10

And 9 episodes later, we start to get back to Kennex’s major internal dilemma: Anna.


His GF who betrayed him and gave case files to Syndicate leading to an ambush which killed his partner and left Kennex with a synthetic leg. He’s taking something to help him remember. And he starts to.. he remembers that Anna had something for him.

Then Kennex gets a call that two girls have OD’d at separate locations (one’s at the morgue, one’s still on scene). Kennex takes one, Stahl takes the other -the one on scene is investigated of course by Kennex since Stahl’s not allowed outside ever. Rawr. Anyway, when he’s getting called in he says he’s en route, but Maldonado says Dorian already told her he was still at home. He’s been turning off his locator and Kennex starts having flashbacks while driving putting Dorian in an awkward situation -and getting his ear ripped off.

The main case follows “chromes” -GMO humans (Stahl has modified genes. this has been briefly touched on before, Paul called her out on it a couple episodes ago when she made fun off him for being short). Chromes are enhanced and the drugs that killed the two girls were specific for their DNA and created by and advanced chemical printer. The ideas for tech on this show are awesome because they capitalize on many recent developments taking the a step further and playing up some of the public’s major fears -in this case; teens on designer drugs and 3D printing. Rad.

7 months previous a girl named Lila died on the drug, but she wasn’t a “chrome” she was regular. She had been friends with the recently deceased Ellinor and Scarlett (ick, these WASPy “chrome” names) but their parent’s influence and money bought their way out of the eyes of investigators. Lila’s mother targeted the other girls for what she presumed to be “their role” only it wasn’t, Lila’s BF begged her not to take the drug (for “chromes” it opens a world of possibilities, but for Lila she saw limits) but he still made the drug for her and she committed suicide.

Bullying + teens desperate to fit in + GMO DNA + chemical printing + designer drugs + uneven class structures leading to corruption

AND all this on top of Kennex obsessing and drugging himself, being investigated by internal affairs and finding out that Syndicate is still spying on him with a Russian nesting doll (the Cold War never ever really died).



But there was something that really bugged me, the “gorgeous +smart +ambitious” Stahl was privileged to have wealthy family who gave her the best damn genes money could buy, we’re meant to see that she took a “common” job and was a disappointment. But Stahl hasn’t proven exceptional in anyway, the only time she went investigating outside the precinct on her own, she was kidnapped. So we’re meant to believe she’s MORE capable but last episode she “helped” by watching TV. Dislike. Why couldn’t Det. Paul have special snowflake DNA? Though, it wouldn’t be Valerie’s *fault* that she had special DNA, people are born with advantages and privileges it’s necessary to acknowledge them not necessary to resent them.