Movie Review: Lizzie Borden Took An Axe (2014)

This Lifetime TV movie biopic on the legendary Lizzie Borden tried and acquitted for the 1892 murders of her parents is surprisingly hip and adorable.

The cast helps. Horror alum Christina Ricci (Addams Family, Cursed, Sleepy Hollow) plays Lizzie. Clea Duvall (“American Horror Story”, Helter Skelter, The Grudge) plays her sister Emma. Her mother and father are played by Sara Botsford (Tremors 4) and Stephen McHattie (“The Strain”, Septic Man).

The soundtrack helps as well, there are adorable indie tunes scattered about in a similar vein to Sophia Coppola’s Marie Antoinette. 

It brings modernization in a low key way that a modern remake never could. It makes the snafus -use of electric lighting, appearance of telephone poles- seem less foolish.

Budding sociality and bratty rich girl can’t get a new dress for a dance.

She was acquitted, mainly because it was inconceivable to a jury that a woman could commit murder with an axe.

So, there’s that.

Lizzie Borden is such a notorious figure. Ricci does an outstanding job portraying the immature sociality and the movie is aesthetically and auditorily pleasing. Overall, an awesome retelling.

3.75/5

Male Objectification Monday: David Duchovny

Our most NSFW edition ever.

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There you go. Teacup over the penis. That from Playgirl. Many years ago.

Admittedly, Duchovny wins this high honor because I’ve been waxing nostalgic re-watching the hell out of “X-Files”

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Fresh faced true believer carrying the weight of regret and past mistakes. I feel for Mulder every time that it’s not aliens.

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But he still looks good 20 years after season 1:

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Previews and News- Septic Man

In theaters on August 15th -And video on demand TODAY is Septic Man the gross-out flick about an small town with a tainted water supply. The town is evacuated and ordinary Sewerage worker, Jack (Jesse David Brown) who is paid off by Prosser (Julian Richings) to clean it up but keep it quiet and find himself battling foes, sickness and a hideous transformation.

Radio Of Horror has been lucky enough to speak with Robert Maillet (“The Strain,” Hercules, 300)

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and Julian Richings (“Supernatural,” “Orphan Black”) -tune in Sunday at midnight EST for that (wcuw.org)!!

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If you dig gross-out flicks check out the opening scene here… if you dare:

 

WARNING DO NOT WATCH AFTER EATING

 

Extant- Episode 4

I was a couple minutes late so I don’t know the first scene. I saw Yasimoto killing a robot in a tank.

Molly and her fam are on the run and they crash with her pops. His dog isn’t a fan of her anymore. Probably because she’s carrying an alien fetus. But the robot child is not a target for Cujo, Ethan also appears to be enjoying time with his grampa and crashing in Molly’s old room.

Sam is being held by Molly’s bosses, she goes into the restroom and tries to fluch Molly’s blood sample. The men accurately surmise that she’s trying to determine the DNA of the fetus. On the beach Grampa is teaching Ethan how to skip rocks, which Ethan immediately excels at. 

“So when we do the test and it’s our’s what’s next?” “We have the baby.” …what’s this ‘ours’? the fetus is a damn alien. An alien that looked like her dead ex.

Sam gets blackmailed. Molly sees her creeper stalker alien ex in the garage where John is working. Ethan tells Grandpa that his mom and dad have secrets, then he gets Ethan embroiled in gambling on bar games. The game is Bimini Ringtoss, which was possibly invented by Hemingway.

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Pops falls off the wagon and then lashes out at Ethan (when he intentionally loses, after noticing that people were getting wild).Grandpa gets out to open the gate. mere moments, but Ethan is abducted.

The police refuse to search; saying the won’t risk men for a machine. John pleads with them to know avail and then punches one. Meanwhile, Molly takes matters into her own hands and finds Ethan, powered down. 

Then helicopters circle. Now, Molly is a capable woman. But she’s upset about the possibility of her son in danger, she’s having what anyone would consider to be an unsafe pregnancy and she’s been hallucinating. MAYBE you should have gone with her John.

John’s in a holding cell while Molly wakes up in a hospital gown and a sterile atmosphere, those circles appear on her abdomen. Then she uses some amatuer telekinesis and then beans a doctor to escape. Sadly, the disoriented Molly runs into another room full of medical staff. Including Yasimoto.

Molly’s boss runs the blood sample.

Molly wakes up in time for knockout gas and we see them using a laser to cut into her abdomen. 

I need answers!! Shit gets real with more human problems and less hallucinations.

Next episode looks truly freaky.

Tonight’s Tropes? Bad black father. Menacing Asian doctor. 

But all in all the characters are very multidimensional …except Marcus… probably because he’s a hallucination. A creepy one at that. For the record: If I had a creepy robot kid, I would definitely exploit his weirdness for free drinks.

(Nerd) Newsday Tuesday

Sleepy Hollow is months away, but showrunners are already teasing fans and showing off new cast members. Check out this video from Matt Barr  answering a fan question that was posted on the show’s instagram.

Word hits that the 6th Resident Evil film is likely to be the last, Jovovich and director hubby Paul Anderson seem resolute about this. But it’s unlikely that the zombie craze will die with it. Tor speculates about possible future resurrections and incarnations for Alice and the Tyrant Virus infected.

Marvel posted a preview of Jean Gray using her new powers in All-New X-Men

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As you can see, I am way behind on comic reviews. This week I’m getting SERIOUS. Promise.

Regardless: I am most pumped about the news that there will be NEW POWERPUFF GIRLS!

AND!!! I just found out about Tim Burton’s 1982 short version of “Hansel and Gretel” it’d be a crime not to share!

 

Male Objectification Monday- Michael Jai White

 

 

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Welcome back a feature that has been missing for far too long with this handsome dude! What lead to this choice? Do you even have to ask? 

If you must know I recently got to meet the impressive, handsome and funny Michael Jai White at TerrorCon. Michael Jai White has recently frequently appeared on CW’s “Arrow” as well as notable in genre roles in The Dark Knight, Mortal Kombat and Spawn.

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Look at that smile!

Fun fact: His first roles were in Toxic Avenger sequels (late 1980s).

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And he starred in, wrote and produced the film Black Dynamite (2009).

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White is an accomplished martial artist and his upcoming role in Falcon Rising later this year has him battling the yakuza in Brazil.

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Looks so good I can overlook that he’s a DC guy and not a Marvel guy. …And an obligatory suit picture, because he cleans up well, he’s not just another set of stellar abs.

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He’ll be back on “Arrow” again next season and gracing screens of all sizes with cinematic releases as well.

Check out Radio of Horror’s YouTube page for excerpts from Michael Jai White’s TerrorCon panel!

Newsday- Nintendo, Fred Williamson, Summer TV +more

Mario Kart 8, work and training for a 5k has eaten my blogging life. I didn’t pick up my comics yet this week, so I figured I’d tell you what’s on my mind.

Penny Dreadful, which I have been loving is renewed for season 2! After 4 episodes! FINALLY a show that I like doesn’t get axed with plotlines hanging around everywhere!

Fred Williamson, AKA “the Hammer” ex-football player and total badass has a new movie called The Last Hit Man. Written, directed and starring Williamson, with Franco Nero and Gary Busey. I got to meet Fred Williamson at TerrorCon over the weekend. I attended his Q&A where he said he turns down 4 or 5 movies every week (every WEEK) because the black characters are written as spoofs or goons or idiots who die in the first 5 minutes. Kudos to him for being uncompromising and making it work on his own terms, but shame on Hollywood for presenting the choice as “don’t work” or “degrade yourself”. It’s a damn shame. 

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He’s also in his 70s and will still kick your ass.

Under the Dome is back on June 30th, Stephen King himself  releases/reads the intro to snowball some hype. We have to wait until July 9th for Extant- Halle Berry fronts this scifi CBS show… about a woman impregnated by aliens after a trip to space. +3 for diversity, +1 for Spielberg, +2 for women in science… but impregnated by aliens? yeesh. Apocalypse/saviour baby plots are not my fave. Raped by aliens is not good. 

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TRUEBLOOD’s final season kicks off in a couple weeks. Rumor mill says there will be a same sex hook-up (“from non-gay characters”) in ep2. Honestly, I can’t imagine this will be handled in a mature fashion most of the gay characters have been bogged down with tropes on tropes. Every one is still hoping that Alexander Skarsgard is involved. Honestly, I think his little brother is cuter. Which is why I’m counting the days til July 11th when Bill Skarsgard returns as Roman on Netflix original series “Hemlock Grove”. 

Official season 2 trailer, anyone?

Absolutely no one anywhere can wait for the new open world Zelda. But we have to. 2015.