31 Horrifying Days- Day 12: “Lucky Bastard”

The premise of the movie centers around a contest. The contest is run by a website called “Lucky Bastard” and the Lucky Bastard gets to fuck a pornstar. In this case, that pornstar is the smoking hot Ashley Saint (played by smoking hot Betsy Rue, My Bloody Valentine) and the fan is Dave (Jay Paulson, who has played a recurring role on “Mad Men”).

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Ashley Saint is one of the hottest girls in the company, but she has turned down participating in the “Lucky Bastard” contest because of her personal rule: “No anal and no amateurs.” She changes her mind when director Mike (Don McManus, looking very Big Lebowski) offers her more money. Ashley is more than a sexy cut out pornstar trope, she’s a single mother and at one point says in a breathy, sexy voice into the camera “Oh yeah, help my clip my double coupons” after Mike says she’s giving fans limp dick by saying that she’s a single mother. Her ex was an abusive meth-head, but it’s not played for sympathy. Ashley sees porn as a job like any other job that provides food, rent and school clothes for her kids. (Weren’t we just talking about legitimizing sex-work?)

But when she meets Dave… he gives her the creeps. He calls her by her real name, knows her kids names and then blows his load prematurely. Ashley yells, “I know I’m not a lawyer or Hilary FUCKING Clinton, but I am a professional! This is not professional!” She refuses to do the scene. Mike, whose main focus is on dollar signs has been ordering people around and trying to coerce everyone to his will. He makes it clear that he thinks Dave is a loser, he treats cameramen Kris (Chris Wylde) and Nico (Lanny Joon) like personal servants, bribes Ashley into uncomfortable situations and then tries to get his own pornstar girlfriend, Casey (Catherine Annette, Nobody Can Cool, upcoming Vampire Schoolgirls) to screw Dave as a backup plan -after telling her that she couldn’t shoot the B-roll footage. She takes being a back-up personally.

Mike gets angry. Like “Hulk-style: You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.” And then frustrated loser Dave becomes concerned about what’s on the cameras. After a spitting mad shouting match, Mike sends Dave off. 58 minutes in is when everything comes to a head.

It seems like an easy setup, it is slow cookin, two-thirds of the film just doing everyday stuff (and porn), but throughout that time the audience gets insight into the characters. Ashley’s there for her kids, she’s thinking about being a Hollywood Actress, Mike wanted to be a big time director, Casey just wants to be a pornstar… And Dave has no idea who he really is.

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“Whatever I want is what I do, so whatever I do, that’s what I want. Now I’m a bitchin’ pornstar.”

An hour of this 94 minute flick is spent building up the awkwardness and egos and sexy shots of Betsy Rue’s naked body (full frontal, visible tanlines included) but when the violence starts, it doesn’t stop. And we see how far the victims will go to save their own asses.

But is it scary? Nope. But it was surprising. Uncomfortable to watch in the way I find “Always Sunny in Philadelphia” to be and once the violence amps up there are shocking edge of your seat moments. The premise that’s centered around a house full of cameras for porn shoots makes the mockumentary style more palatable unlike found footage films that are beyond belief (Like Devil’s Pass teleporting monsters are after you. How would you not have thrown the camera at it?).

3.75/5

Due to the NC-17 rating, the film didn’t get a wide cinematic release (although it was in select theaters), it is currently available on Amazon Video on Demand.

If you would like to know more, director Robert Nathan will be on Radio of Horror on 5/26 (technically) show starts at midnight EST so tune in for the dirt on the dangers of humiliation TV, hypocrisy towards the porn industry and real life inspiration for the characters.

One thought on “31 Horrifying Days- Day 12: “Lucky Bastard”

  1. Pingback: timewantsaskeleton | Penny Dreadful- Episode 2

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