31 Horrifying Days-Day 7:All Cheerleaders Die

The movie begins mockumentary style following Blackfoot High Cheerleader Lexi. The uber-popular self proclaimed “diplomat” dies horrifically in a cheer acident that snaps her neck. Childhood friend Maddy (Caitlin Stasey, I, Frankenstein) wants revenge after Lexi’s boyfriend Terry (Tom Williamson) rebounds quickly with Lexi’s cheermate Tracy (Sianoa Smit-McPhee, Zombieland). So Maddy joins the squad and sets a plan in motion to break up Tracy and Terry. Maddy and Lexi hadn’t been friends since junior high, Lexi went the school spirit, socialite route while Maddy got rebellious. But she blames the cheerleaders for Lexi’s death and sets out for revenge.
Her plan is successful but as the first day of school approaches: tensions mount. Maddy ends up seducing Tracy, much to the aggravation of Maddy’s wiccan ex girlfriend Leena. A keg party brings out drama between the other cheerleaders: sisters Hannah and the prissy chaste  Martha bicker, Tracy and Maddy hookup in the woods… then Terry gets violent with Tracy.
After 33 minutes of teen drama,  finally something horror related happens. 33 LONG minutes.
Terry (and fellow football jerks) run Tracy, Maddy, Hannah and Martha off the road.

boys

Leena drags them out of the lake and resurrects them with the magical stones se totes around. It all seems okay, momentarily Except.. Hannah and Martha are in each other’s bodies… and Tracy is ravenously.
Unimpressed with Leena’s menu, Tracy breaks into her neighbor Larry’s house. She chugs a gallon of milk, horks in his sink, seduces him and then sticks her finger through his jugular. The rest of the undead posse busts in. And they drink his blood. And then they feel strong. Blood thirsty she-beasts who can throw people 200 feet? Badass.

tracy
Tracy is anxious to get to school. Homicide, blood thirst and murderous exes be damned.
They discover that if anyone feels something strongly that they all feel it. Hannah has sex with Martha’s boyfriend (while Hannah is in Martha’s body) and the rest of the girls drop to their knees and have orgasms in the hall. Way to lay low, huh?
In between snacking on classmates, teen drama returns. Crushes and rivalries are revisited as teenage life- even as a ghoul proves traumatic.

acd

Maddy is not taking the fact that she needs blood to continue on well. Other girls quibble over cell phones and late night plans and Maddy hits the shower, the other girls find Maddy’s video diary and see that she joined the cheerleading squad to break up Tracy and Terry. She whines, “But that was last week! I didn’t even know you then!” and Tracy storms off.
…with everything glaring wrong with it… I still gave it credit. A female revenge flick with out rape? YES
Until it wasn’t 74 (out of 89) minutes into the movie, they toss that in there.  WTF WHY??
Wack shit.
It gets to be funny and a little gory,  girl power mixed in with cliches for days.
Towards the end Terry finds the source of their revitalization and starts hunting them down for their …magic rocks.

Was it scary? Nooope. But it was awesome.. about 28% of the time. Far too much time spent on establishing snotty teen angst before the got down to the gore. The plot doesn’t make enough sense to require that much set up. Magic rocks resurrect cheerleaders. Bang. Done. The title actually makes little sense, seeing as how the gossiping girls come back to life. The actresses are all stunning, but too much of the film focussed on pandering and playing that up. Although, bonus that the lesbian relationships were surprisingly sensual. Leena’s love for Maddy allows her to do magical and unbelievable things: like raise the dead. They fight hard for each other. That type of devotion in LGBT couples is really shown on screen, especially in cheesy genre flicks.

Written and directed by Lucky McKee (May) and Chris Sivertson (I Know Who Killed Me) -it’s technically a remake of their 2001 film by the same name.

It had it’s moments, I don’t know if this film was worth doing twice, though.

2.5/5

 

One thought on “31 Horrifying Days-Day 7:All Cheerleaders Die

  1. Reblogged this on Radio of Horror Blog and commented:
    PAM and I watched and reviewed this movie on the air last night not the best form Lucky Mc Gee Why in almost every one of his movies woman are beat up or raped

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