Movie Review #17: Sorority Party Massacre

This Anchor Bay released flick boasts *big names* like Kevin Sorbo (Hercules the Legendary Journeys) and adult film star and rum hawker Ron Jeremy. The plot begins with the somewhat grisly but comparatively tame murder of Holly, the daughter of Sorbo’s character. Detective Watts (Thomas Downey; Pirates of Treasure Island, Dracula’s Curse) is sent in from the big city to investigate. The first victim had been heading for a Sorority meet up where girls were to compete for an elite scholarship. They other girls, played by Eve Mauro (Zombies vs Strippers, Mirror Image), Marissa Skell (Slumber Party Slaughter), Yvette Yates (I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell), Rebecca Grant, Alison Mei Lan and Adrian Kirk (616:Paranormal Incident) are doing degrading and outrageous things to please Stella… but are they killers?

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While trying to uncover the truth Detective Watts is hampered by Sheriff Lumpkin, playing the typical bumbling small-town cop.

Thomas Downey has played Watts several times; Paranormal Incident, Mirror Image, 616: Paranormal Incident and will be filling that role again in the upcoming Bachelorette Party Massacre. So seemingly, those films all exist in the same world as this film- which shares it’s mythos with the 1982 flick Slumber Party Massacre 1, 2 & 3, Cheerleader Massacre, Sorority House Massacre 1 & 2, and Hard to Die. The only of these series I watched were the trio of Slumber Party Massacres and I can say without a doubt that this film has nothing in common with the originals. This would have been a much more enjoyable film is it stuck to it’s campy roots instead of relying on hyper glamorized camera angles and pornography premises… ie; hot nerd in bikini is ordered to clean out the horse stables.

Slumber Party Massacre is one of my all time favorites (truth? I even like the 2nd one where the killer has a drill guitar and sings and busts through walls). We saw from the killer’s perspective, stalked the girls through windows and we wanted the girls to band together, save each other and live long enough to get their pizza delivered.

This one did not measure up. It’s too bad, because while the opening scene was a little too similar to Scream the method of murder and the slow motion, boob giggling attempted escape shown over a slow ethereal Deftones track was GORGEOUS. But sadly there’s not much for scares or surprises after that. Instead of girls banding together vs an interloper, we have catty brats out for themselves, and while all these darlings were super hot, there’s something decidedly not cute about that. Sorority Party Massacre should have stuck more to the originals. Maybe it wouldn’t have been unique but Mean Girls, Scream, Scary Movie and pornography tropes did nothing to help.

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The only thing really going for it is the opening scene and the fact that there’s some serious hot girl eye candy. 1 Star.

But if you like this sort of thing check out the teaser art for the next film Bachelorette Party Massacre here:

http://www.dreadcentral.com/news/66474/exclusive-first-news-bachelorette-party-massacre-and-teaser-art#axzz2reu4YQDg

3 thoughts on “Movie Review #17: Sorority Party Massacre

  1. This was awfull I might interview Paige this week if schedules work out.

  2. Sometimes schlock is good. Eye-candy is also good. After watching the Ron Jeremy Wrecking Ball video – this might be too much though.

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