Red Sonja #1

The story begins 3 years prior with King Dimath shouting victory. He goes to the dungeon of his vanquished enemy and finds 2 prisoners. The only two to live after being worked as slaves all day and set to battle each other till death for sport at night. 

“Let me see these fierce men.” 

“Yes, sire. Only about that…”

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Dimath sets them out with a horse and safe passage away. 

3 years later, Red Sonja is sleeping in the dirt. I read her in Lucy Lawless’s voice. But she’s sleeping on the ground, drooling, snoring. Drunk. 

Bandits come buy and she offers to let them take the food, even whatever gold she has if they need it, she adds “Try to touch my sword and you die. Try to touch me and you die fingerless.” (How epic is that?)

Anyway, the bandits try to step up… and out of no where jump 2 pretty young girls with bows and arrows (is this a Katniss Everdeen thing? That’s how I’m reading it). Young girls, bows and arrows, guts but no idea about combat or killing or WAR.

Dimath requests Red Sonja’s presence… at a party

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Then once back in her chainmail bikini, she gets down to business teaching the townsfolk to fight as the Zamorans prepare to invade. Apparently the Zamorans have a terrifying general, and no reinforcements will come to help the king face them because his people have been cursed by a plague. 

A definite GREAT first issue. Clever. Funny. Brutal. Can’t wait to see what happens. So I won’t, I have issue 2 right over here. Also, if anyone else thought the sisters were a joke about Katniss holla at me! I thought it was so funny, they were all “We’re your body guards!” And Sonja’s all, “Seriously?” It’s amazeballs.

One thought on “Red Sonja #1

  1. I might read this

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