13 Ways to Ensure I Will Not Like Your Book

1. The book involves racism against WHITE PEOPLE: White protagonists suffering at the hands of “evil minorities” solely because they are white. KNOCK THAT SHIT OFF.

2. The women in this book are all morons.

3. There’s one woman in the book and she incessantly talks about how much better than everyone else she is.

4. Misogynist werewolf nonsense

5. There’s one woman in this book who seems to be lacking all commonsense, reason and logic but is somehow a high ranking government agent/paranormal detective.

6. There’s one woman in this book and she’s supposedly mega-powerful but keeps needing to be saved (by the men! there are no women here)

7. Creepy brother and sister relationships. Game of Thrones gets a pass on this.

8. Instant-love. Soul bonds, mated pairs, fated couples. Blah blah blah. This implies that no one has any agency in their own destiny or happiness. And, it’s lazy writing. “Look I threw in some ‘magic’ so I didn’t have to waste time on writing how their perceptions of each other change and how they develop a mature relationship.”

9. Honestly, weretigers. Everything I’ve ever read with weretigers is dumb.

10. Stuff that out of nowhere goes on political/religious rants that make no sense for the story but were put in by the author who could just not resist spewing her bigotry.

11. “Immortality is a curse” What?! no!

12. Books that are obvious knock-off of the Hunger Games (I didn’t even love the Hunger Games).

13. Stalking/obsession/abuse as true love. We’re grown ups and we should know better. The sheer amount of this in YA and TV aimed at tweens is gross. Seriously, someone call To Catch A Predator.

I stole this idea from the Top Ten Tuesday Meme, but I made it my own. I will read any topic, even some of these if someone steps in and says “this is not okay!” But usually they don’t. It’s annoying. And mostly you can’t tell from the outside of the book if the author is unabashedly a vehement racist. I can’t read that shit.

9 thoughts on “13 Ways to Ensure I Will Not Like Your Book

  1. As someone who would actually like to break into the novel industry (currently working on a series I started in January), this list is actually kind of helpful, even if just because I haven’t fallen into any of these yet.

    1. Like pretty much any kind of spin on a current issue, this has to be handled very carefully to do it right.

    2. This happens way too often in any fictional medium, although from what I’ve seen it seems to be the worst in video games, followed closely by movies.

    3. That’s a very quick way to make any type of character unlikeable.

    4. Where’s number 4?

    5. Reminds me of Jynx from Die Another Day.

    6. What if this woman is still relatively young, inexperienced, and the man who save her is either her much more experienced father or a man whom she saves an equal number of times? I’d like your opinion on this.

    8. This is what bothers me the most about the bulk of romances in fiction – most of them are like this, regardless of fictional gender.

    11. I’d prefer to look at immortality as somewhere between a blessing and a curse – it’ll have both upsides and downsides.

    Also, combine 2,3,5 and 7 and you have one completely unlikable, unbelievable character.

    • Holy cow! Where is number 4? !
      About number 6- If the woman is less experienced or younger, it’s fine if a man rescues her: but there should be some character development which involves her being able to use her powers in some purposeful way (like saving his bacon in later chapters). Or there are a group of characters of all different genders and they take turns saving each other. Like on Buffy, Buffy saves everyone, Xander saves Buffy and Willow, Oz saves Willow, Cordelia saves Xander, Willow saves everyone (usually with knowledge, but whatever, it still stands), Angel saves Ms Calendar, Buffy saves everyone from Angel, so on and so forth.

      • My answer to six was referring to a character I’m working on in my own series, which I’m not ready to openly discuss with people I don’t personally know yet. But yes, there is development. Throughout the book, she grows in confidence and experience, and ends up defeating the monster that kills her father (the same man that both taught her everything she knows about fighting and saves her life earlier).

        As for the other man who saves her life, they save each others lives an equal amount of times throughout the book. They never become romantically involved as they’re romantically incompatible in more ways than one, but they do grow a brother/sister style relationship that lasts for decades.

  2. Haha, this is a humorous but well thought out list.

    Weretigers sounds like a good idea… they can’t be that bad 🙂

    I can’t think of a book I’ve read in which the white protag has enemies primarily for being white. But racism is something that always has to be considered nowadays. I had a black protag-white antag in one book, but it’s pretty clear the problems are because of their situation, regardless of the characters’ race.

    You’d love all the females of my stories. Generally, they’re stronger than the guys. And all of them kickass.

    • There was this book called “Save the Pearls” in which solar radiation nearly wiped out while people but black people were better protected from it, so with white in the minority the black people oppress them and thus the white people walk around in black face. And someone who had more than a third grade education thought this was a great idea. (Also, apparently there were no mixed race or brown people, I mean, really, what is that?)
      In “Turned” the main character went to school in New York City and was the only white person in her whole school and no one would be friends with her.

      I just think there should be some awareness about it. If the villain is a different race than the hero, they probably should be the only person with that background represented in the whole novel. Or at least their motivations should be explored well enough to explain why are hellbent on what ever nefarious deed.

      Maybe I only come across weretigers when the author has already ran out of all other ideas, lol I don’t know.

      Glad to hear you’re bringing some girl power for the fans 😀

      • Hmm from the way you tell it, those two examples sound like pretty bad stories. But maybe they’re meant to get white people to think about how life is as a minority? In that aspect I think “Turned” is ok. “Save the Pearls” doesn’t sound like a good idea based on what you say. Black Face is never a good idea… haha.

        Careful. If you challenge me, I may write a weretiger story for Wattpad.

      • And, btw, thanks for liking my post.

  3. I absolutely haaaaate soul mates. I have a physical reaction to that word- makes me want to vomit. “I was born to love you!” um, no you weren’t.

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