Lazarus #1 & #2

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Inspired by class warfare and stem cells impact on bone regeneration, Greg Rucka and Michael Lark create a comic starring “Forever Carlyle, the lazarus.” The first panels show Forever taking 3 bullets before getting up, bloody but a-ok, and exacting her revenge in a rather harsh manner. Forever visits a doctor where she reveals the men broke in to “the guest house” because they wanted something to eat. The doctor says, “The family provides for ALL citizens, as you know. If they are DOCUMENTED residents of the domain they receive their allowance.”

At the Carlyle’s Harvest One facility, there has been an attack and the seed vaults were raided. And her brother, Jonah, demands that punishment be enacted. Forever does what she is told, but her conscience and emotions are weighing on her. She doesn’t think the man who confessed to aiding the Morray family in attacking was really involved.

There’s some interesting topics here: class warfare, people receiving an “allowance” (which is essentially welfare) from The Family, citizens having to be registered in the domain, absolute power over the population, super-regeneration, scapegoating people for treason. The art is dark and muted tones, it really sets a mood.

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Issue #2 starts off with Forever taking her “maintenance regimen” which is a big ass pile of vitamins. Forever is discussing the attack at Harvest One, saying that she found no evidence about how the man she executed was contacted by the Morray family (probably because they were never in contact, which she doesn’t say, but her family keeps thinking of people around him to throw under the bus). Apparently the Carlyle’s have the best seeds that will grow anywhere (did we just throw GMOs in the mix??).  Then Forever and Jonah take off to LA at their father’s wishes. LA has been destroyed by an earthquake, but they own rebuilt what the family needed. Apparently it’s in Forever’s genes to do whatever the family asks (what does that mean??). But Forever takes off for Mexico.

There’s so many things to talk about!! 

Evil GMO controlling family who dispenses an “allowance” to the population. The population is broken into categories of “family”, “serf” and “waste” …yes, considered “waste” by the Family. Looking to make an example by murdering citizens in order to control the population. Crazy science! Genetically altered female takes a bullet to the brain and after a minute or two recoup, doesn’t even get a headache? Oh snap!

Also someone wrote in a letter to the creators after issue #1 and said “The only thing I didn’t really like was how butch Forever looks but that is just a minor flaw in my opinion.”

And Greg Rucka responded, “Yeah, not to throw down, but Forever looking like she can kick your ass? That’s not a flaw; that’s by design. Making her a frail little waif would have made about as much sense as putting her in high heels.”

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Hooray! I cannot wait to see what happens next! Also, fuck yes! Female centered comics!

Book Review #22- Game of Thrones by George RR Martin

Wowzers, the literary equivalent of a decathalon. Anyway, I’ll tell you what I think about it and we can discuss, if you’re reading my blog you probably have cable and the internet or at least facebook friends who have cable and you have some idea what is going on here.

When people talk about feminist characters… people usually bring up Daenerys. Now, Daenerys is pretty rad. She has a very sad background story but she uses what she’s got. Her brother Viserys, sells her to Khal Drogo in exchange for an army to take the throne back for his family. Viserys is abusive and an idiot, and he says things like “you don’t want to wake the dragon, whore!” which made me so glad that I knew something terrible was going to happen to this fricken juggalo. Daenerys, though, makes the best out of her situation and starts to realize what a loser he is. But he’s the only reason she knew anything about her family who all died before she was born. Daenerys as Khaleesi forbids her soldiers from raping women, she’s bold and ambitious. She also sort of acts like Scarlet O’Hara. “If I look back I am lost” is the new “I can’t think about it now, I’ll think about it later. If I think about it now, I’ll go crazy.”

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Let’s all take a moment and recognize that Arya Stark is THE bad ass. Arya who asked if she could be a knight and was told that she would marry a lord and be wealthy and she said, “Father, that’s Sansa.” Arya Stark who wanted to learn how to sword fight. Arya Stark who tried to warn her father that someone was plotting against him. Arya Stark who yelled at people who took her for a boy. Who ran from the guard after Joffrey took the throne. Who fought off crooks who tried to steal the boots off her feet. Who tried to save her father while Sansa stood there and cried. Arya Stark who wanted to be a bastard so she would be related to Jon more than Sansa.

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Every time Sansa said: “I’m meant to marry Joffrey and carry his babies” I wanted to kill her. But Sansa was doing as she was raised to, and she was a product of her time. So I’m not even MAD about that. She’s 11, she’s naive. It’s realistic. (Even though Arya was only 9, and I’m pretty sure I want to be Arya when I grow up). But she forgets she even HAS a sister! And she makes sure to remind everyone that Jon is only her half brother. Which, by the way is why I also hated Catelyn.

Catelyn who had to tell Jon it should have been him paralyzed instead of Bran. BOOOOOO 

I hate that. In this world here that we live in now: people have out of wedlock babies all the time. Kids have half siblings and step siblings. But for some reason people feel that it’s appropriate to say “Oh, your HALF SISTER” as if someone who grew up around their father’s daughter would be wrong in calling her a sister and not specifying that they are only HALF siblings. It’s so stupid. I can’t stand it. And I was angry for Jon.

Jon, who lives in the shadows of his half brothers, who is constantly reminded that he’s a bastard child thinks life is egregiously unfair until he takes the black and gets the wake up call everyone gets so they can move on with their lives; he went and bullied anyone he could but then it was finally laid out in front of him that his life was actually not that bad. It’s always quite the rude awakening to realize that there’s no reason to wallow in self pity. He handles it well. 

This book is insane, there’s so much going on. Written in 3rd person, but following different characters each chapter, writing them from the outside but paying more attention to the things the characters would. What a nine year old would remember, Catelyn’s were more poetic noticing details of her sons brighter than anything else, Eddard’s chapters were harsher, Jon’s adventurous and introspective. It’s quite a feat. Really really good writing. But everything really whips up at the end and serious, I can’t believe I just finished all of that and I need the second book right now. Seriously, I hate you George RR Martin! 

5 Direwolves! Hell yes!

Books, Brains and Blood Read-a-thon Reading List

Once again, my Summer Reading List could beat up your Summer Reading List.

The OFFICIAL Time Wants a Skeleton Reading List for the Vampires vs. Zombies reading challenge.

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Vampires:

V-Wars by Jonathan Maberry

Undead are a Joke (part 1) by Chris Denmead

Zombies:

Viral Nation by Shaunta Grimes

End Dayz by Kellie Sheridan

When Graveyards Yawn by G. Wells Taylor 

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Check back for Vamps vs. Zombies updates August 2-6th! Maybe I’ll read some Buffy comics, there are “zompires” there. It’s true.

Under the Dome- Episode #6

Under the Dome got renewed for season 2… I don’t know if that’s a good idea. Actually, I think it’s a bad idea, but, well… nobody really asked me. There are aspects of the show that I really like, but I think they only make sense if everything rounds itself out in a short amount of time.

The “How Can It Rain In The Dome?” Episode.

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Norrie reunites with her moms. Linda found out Coggins is dead. Everyone is running low on supplies already. Linda deputizes Barbie (who is a murderer, living with the woman who’s husband he killed. That’s some dubious character. If you’ve been reading my reviews, you’ve probably gathered that I don’t care and completely forgive him).

Angie is still with Junior. Junior is being reassuring and using his new authority as a reason she should trust him. Angie is pleasantly NOT reassured. Hooray! And she bashes him over the head with a snowglobe! Hooray! Does this kid have a football helmet on under his hair? How often can he get hit in the head?

Alice is having a meltdown and walks out into the street causing a truck to collide with power lines. Joe and Norrie race into action and save the driver.

Phil is messing with the radio equipment which is not functioning correctly either. (Did I mention I co-host a radio show?) Dodee says there’s some power source interfering with the signal.

Linda is talking to Barbie about their love lives and they find dead fish. The water is polluted with methane to the point where it catches on fire. Big Jim decides to make it rain. Big Jim knows about some wells.

Coggins burned the insulin and no one knows how to help Alice.

Angie is on the move! Big Jim tells Junior to “find that girl.”

Cash has become useless.

With news of the water shortage people are panicking and fighting and stealing. Norrie is heading off to steal insulin for her mom. Angie finds Rose and tells her that she got kidnapped. Rose can’t believe Big Jim would do something like that!! Angie’s scared now that Junior is a cop and Big Jim is a city councilor that no one will believe her. Rose says she believes her (even though she just said she didn’t believe Big Jim would do that.) Joe’s still trying to talk Norrie out of breaking and entering when the man they are burglarizing shows up with a shotgun, but he’s out of insulin, too.

Back at the riot in the center of town, Barbie chases someone down and has a freakout and starts choking the guy. People break in to Rose’s restaurant to steal her meat. Angie steps up to protect Rose. Angie never backs down. I like it. Unfortunately it doesn’t go in her favor.

Norrie goes to the next house in search of insulin, ready to raid the place but they find a little boy who has diabetes. Noriie can’t steal it, well, okay, she stole a little. Dodee finds out that Joe and Norrie are the power source. They tell Dodee and Julia about the seizures and show the creepy video.

Barbie finds a man assaulting Angie and Barbie freaks and chokes the guy. Again. I think he keeps forgetting where he is. Barbie gives Angie to Big Jim.

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Linda’s ready to shoot when it starts raining. Everyone holds up rain buckets. The dome has it’s own micro climate. Is Dodee in Mensa? She’s the smartest person in Chester’s Mill! Season 2 should be centered around Dodee and Phil, for sure. Dodee says they have to tell the town that Joe and Norrie are connected to the dome (which seems odd because Dodee and Phil didn’t even tell the town that it was a dome). Julia is against it. Julia finds Barbie wandering around in the rain and the make out. Which was pretty hot.

Angie wakes up at Big Jim’s. He wants to make an “arrangement.” Big Jim gives Angie *his word* that Junior will never touch her again. Offers her propane, a gun, whatever. Angie hints that she will take his protection when Junior walks in. What will Big Jim do now?

I hope he shoots Junior in the head.

What do you think he’ll do? Will Dodee tell the town that Joe and Norrie are some kind of power source? And what is up with that?

I really liked this episode. The dome has been up under a week and already money has become something abstract. Trading is the only way to get something useful. Norrie showed the lengths that she would go to for her family.  Things got tense all around town as they faced the danger of running out of water imminently. Overall, the whole idea makes no sense, still. How would the military not know why/what the dome is doing there? Some people are theorizing that it’s aliens, but if it’s aliens then how did Big Jim know to stockpile propane? If Big Jim is an alien I’m gonna scream. But I doubt it’s anything that ridiculous. I hope.

Movie Review #6- Detention of the Dead

Ever wonder what it would be like if the Breakfast club was set during a zombie plague? 

(wait, that actually doesn’t sound so bad)

How about some added fart jokes and bad acting?

Yeah, I didn’t think so. 

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The cliches (I mean characters!), all meet in detention. The nerd has a crush on the cheerleader, the goth chick has a crush on him. The cheerleaders boyfriend is a bully who along with the jock tortures the nerd. The stoner apparently has no interaction with anyone before this day. Willow, the goth, is watching the George Romero classic, Night of the Living Dead when some random students gets zombified from a bite on his hand. Then some how there’s zombies all over the school. Some of the zombies are fast, some are slow, and all are oozing black stuff from their mouths. 

There’s a ton of juvenile humor, stoner jokes, a love triangle that is… well… not so compelling. And the cliches. The toughest kids always crack during the z-poc. Someone gets bit and doesn’t ‘fess up. They just hang out like a ticking time bomb. There’s a zombie rat that was particularly bizarre. One of the funniest parts was the stoner taunting the decapitated zombie head of the teacher that gave them all detention (yes, the decapitated head is still alive. yes, this makes no sense)… but mostly the humor is beyond immature, fart jokes, crotch grabbing, a zombie eating someone’s butt. And so many scenes that were Breakfast Club rip offs … WHY?! there were also references to Rocky Horror Picture Show and Night of the Living Dead. Which begs the question… who is this movie trying to impress? The jokes seemed tailored for middle schoolers who wouldn’t understand the classic references. Who is this movie for? I don’t know.

Eh, this movie gets 1.5 brains… which is the amount of brains all the characters had combined.

This movie was reviewed by me & Dr. Chris on Radio of Horror!

Hooray! I’m the new co-host! Radio of Horror has a facebook and we are having a giveaway right now, too. So give me your likes!

Army of Darkness vs. Hack/Slash #1

The debut starts out with Cassie Hack, the serial killer killer, having date-night with her girlfriend, Margaret. They left their baby Sandra home with a babysitter. Spilled wine reminds Cassie of the death of her friend, Vlad, and she asks to go home. But when they arrive at home Cassie spots an unknown vehicle up the street and suspects an intruder. She’s right, of course:

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A hilarious fight scene ensues, until they realize who the other is.

Turn’s out the fan’s of each other’s work (but who wouldn’t be?)

Ash is seeking the Book of the Dead (go figure), and has tracked it to Cassie Hack’s house (what are the odds). Then they realize that in all the excitement they haven’t seen the babysitter! Things never go well for babysitters. Kristin has been sacrificed and they find her eating her own hands.

With a battle cry of “Give me your skin!” A gory mess of a fight scene, ensues and then we get set up for another round of adventure with the two agreeing to come together as “a pair a’ rogue elephants united on a quest.”

A mash-up made in horror heaven! Badassery on all-sides.

T & A, one liners, interesting weapons of choice, reading in Bruce Campbell’s voice? Co-ed heroes saving each other’s skin in disgusting and unexpected ways?

Awesome! Too much fun!

Movie review #5- The Wolverine

Alright, I’m going to not say too much because I don’t want to be too spoilerific. 

“In modern day Japan, Wolverine is out of his depth in an unknown world as he faces his ultimate nemesis in a life-or-death battle that will leave him forever changed. Vulnerable for the first time and pushed to his physical and emotional limits, he confronts not only lethal samurai steel but also his inner struggle against his own immortality, emerging more powerful than we have ever seen him before.” (twenieth century fox wrote that blurb). It explains not much. Also pretty much every promo shot never even remotely happened.

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That didn’t happen.

This happened:

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This movie picks up after X-Men the Last Stand. Based on (but not an exact replica of) the Frank Miller/Chris Claremont 1982 comics. Logan’s the man on the mountain haunted by a long life full of death. Some red-necks bring him off the mountain where he is propositioned about meeting an ‘old friend’. There’s some great thoughts about immortality and Logan starts (not by choice) to consider what it would be like to be a human. Doing normal man things (like chopping trees) and having someone you like cook for you, live, die. That sort of thing. It’s subtle.

There’s girl power. Yukio, Mariko. Mariko is the damsel, by the way. And yes, I’m counting her in the bad ass girls club. 

There’s a lot of WTF Science? And plot points that were held together with special effects and bubblegum. The foes could have been explained more. But the movie was what it intended to be. A story about Wolverine. A story about scraping yourself up and finding something to fight for. Finding a purpose. (It was also a story about family legacies, corporate espionage, science run amok, the Yakuza show up, samurai type stuff, war, there is a lot going on). 

But really, I should also talk about the jumping in this movie. It was ridiculous. You’ll just have to watch it. I can’t even explain it to you.